Saturday, January 15, 2011

It Started with a Bunny...

I told you more than a year ago in "My Own Miracle" that I would one day enlighten you on my specific prayer technique. It all started with a bunny....or at least that's the first time I remember praying this way.

I was probably ten years old when my brother and I got bunnies for Easter. My bunny was named Thumper, and I think my brother named his something stupid like Furry (we also had Swimmy the fish...he was five it was probably cute to everyone else, but I thought it was dumb he he). Anyway, you know I'm a worrier, right? It's not new. I've always been this way.

As I would lie in my bed at night in the dark, all the worries would begin to flood my mind. What if something happened to my bunny? Growing up in church it was not unusual for me to give my worries over in prayer. I prayed quietly, "God, please keep my bunny safe tonight. Amen."  I lay staring at the ceiling for quite some time, then a thought occurred to me.

"What if my bunny dies? Technically he'd still be "safe," but he'd be dead."  This probably stemmed somewhat from the old "be careful what you wish for" in combination with my everyday anxiety.  So, I prayed again. "God, please keep my bunny safe AND alive tonight. Amen."  Again I lay staring at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come.

But wait.

What IF...just what if my bunny got out of his cage? Yeah, and what if he found a little bush or bunny hole and he LIKED it there? He'd still be alive, and he'd still be safe, but he'd be gone!  Oh dear.  "Dear God, please keep my bunny safe, alive, and in his cage. Amen."

Finally satisfied, I drifted off to sleep, and I prayed that same prayer every night (unless I forgot) before I went to bed. Eventually I became more secure and worried less about my bunny. He got out one night and never came back. I probably for got to say "...and in his cage" the night before :)

I still do this today. I know that God knows the desires of my heart, and that he's not a mean guy up there looking for a loop-hole to say "AH ha! Gotcha!" but nontheless, I am very specific when I pray. I make it known what my desire is, and am very attentive to detail. Maybe it's controlling, maybe it's crazy, but I think it's thorough.

God, please let me have many views on this page from people who have good intentions, and please don't let them think I'm crazy. Or weird. Or boring. Amen.


1 comment:

  1. This made me smile. I pray in much the same way and then apologize like sorry God if I am asking too much ahhh your will be done...and then i feel better..