Sunday, January 30, 2011

Reason #17 to keep it under three...

I served at Applebee's, and when I went through training I was introduced to the three drink rule. On the third drink the server was to alert the manager, and was possibly not to serve any more drinks. I have been to restaurants where the drink menu says: limit 2. There are many obvious reasons for this rule (that I'm pretty sure every establishment breaks in the name of money making...I know of a stout Latino man who would often drink ten Coronas), but let me share my reason #17 to keep it under three drinks.

The Mister and I were having a quiet dinner at Olive Garden. We'd waited quite a while for a table, and when we finally sat down we were ready to devour anything in our path. Our waitress introduced herself and promptly brought our drinks (OMG I'd possibly sever a limb for the peach/raspberry tea they have there....LOVE IT).  My attention was immediately drawn to a table across the room when a woman began laughing extra loudly.

There were three or four women who were well into their meal, and I couldn't help but notice the bottle of wine on the table. You'd think a bottle of wine wouldn't go far between four women, but I'm guessing either only one of them was drinking, or else they'd had more than one bottle.

I'm not judging. Have four bottles of wine with your girlfriends if you like. What bothered me was that as the evening wore on, they were interrupting my dinner date, and I found myself privvy to an awkward situation.  I'm not really an eaves-dropper. I was trying to have a quiet conversation with the Mister, and we were succeeding to a point, but now and then there was the just-a-decible-too-loud "WHAT" or the laugh/snort. And it's not like we were in Hooters or something. This little room in Olive Garden was quiet and serene. Er, uh, it would've been.

Finally I hear Miss Drunk pipe up, "Ok, ok you guys, fine! You think I shouldn't be talking to him? I'm deleting him. Look. DELETE CONTACT, ok (she says, dramatically holding her phone up for the entire restaurant to see)? You guys are ganging up on me and you're going to make me cry!" The girls tried to quietly hush her, to console her, and tell her they didn't think she was a bad person, but that her husband would not approve of her talking to "him."

There was more wine, more discussion of this "him" she was texting, and finally, FINALLY the boxes! They left, and by that time we were pretty much finished with our food as well. Our food was good, and we had some intense entertainment through dinner, but unfortunately it was at the expense of a woman who obviously broke the three drink rule...and her unknowing husband =/

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I'm a Habitual Eater.

I went to the fridge around eleven yesterday morning and opened the crisper. Suddenly my pulse began to race and my breath was short. I was.....I was....OUT of romaine!  I got mad and frustrated and as whiny as a two year old not getting his way.

What? You were nearly in tears over not having a salad? Make a grilled cheese, you LOVE those! There are chips on the fridge, even baked ones so you won't feel guilty. There's turkey and ham, whole wheat bread and wraps...what's the matter?

The problem is that I am a habitual eater. We all have a tendency to get stuck on a certain cereal or cola, but I'm a hardcore habitual eater (We won't even discuss my food quirks like no water-dwelling creatures and nothing creamy, because that's another blog in itself).

There is something so comforting about eating habitually. I look forward to it every day/night. Some of my food habits? Every night since December 2000 I have NEEDED a tall glass of grape juice next to my bed. I do not exaggerate when I say many a tear has been shed when I didn't have any. Oh and it has to be Welch's 100% juice. I used to eat a grilled cheese and Doritos every day at 11:00 while I watched Ellen (now I'm on salad). At one time I couldn't watch American Idol without Oreos (that's still a tough one). I ate two bologna sandwiches every day for an entire summer in high school. Even when I'm not hungry, my "habits" have to be exercised.

So today after I dropped Chloe off at school I went in to town to get romaine from the store. I came home and had my big salad, and it was wonderful. I'm lucky this food habit is a good one...because they aren't always so healthy.

Friday, January 28, 2011


Ok ok the whole thing isn't a success yet. I still have a ways to go, and somewhere between 11 and 15 weeks to maintain this lifestyle.

But for now....

Just for right now....

Can I get a big fat


What for, you ask?

I lost 4.2 lbs this week :) Since Monday! I've worked at it and I've given up at least half of the things I love. Yay me! Let's hope I can keep the trend!  This makes me much more determined to "be good" this weekend rather than let myself "off the hook."  :D

Snow Days and Cocktails

It's Friday again!!!!!!!!!!!! Yahooooo! I'm laying here thinking about changing my WWL weigh day to Fridays. I just realized that I pretty much let myself "off the hook" on the weekend, which may leave me a little pudgier on Monday morning than on Friday afternoon when I've been "good" all week. I use the term good loosely because I am more like that sneaky kid in the back of the classroom who has to try with every fiber of his being to not do bad things, and still sneaks a trick or two in when the teacher isn't looking. My "tricks" are carbs. The white, sugary, bad kind.

Anyway. You are looking for 5QF, aren'tcha? Mmhm. Ok. Here it is!  Happy Friday!

1. If you had $1,000 to donate to a charity, which would you choose?
I'd have to do some research first, but I'd probably donate it to a charity that works with children who are either sick, or need to be adopted. I can't imagine having to go through a life-threatening illness as just a baby, and I also can't imagine not having a Mommy and/or Daddy to love you unconditionally. That money wouldn't go far, but it could help one kid at least.

2. Snow days: Do you welcome them happily or are they a pain in your butt?
I love snow days!!!!!!!!!  I really loved then when I was teaching, but I still look forward to them!  It means Chloe and I are homebound together for a day or two. If we go more than two days I get a little crazy, but for the most part I just love it! We stay in jammies all day long. I usually fix a big dinner, and Chloe and I entertain each other until the Mister gets home from work by playing Wii, board games, and even Barbies or critters. I don't feel obligated to "get ready" because I know we're not leaving, and we just have a great day!

3. What talent did you wish you had and why?
I wish I had some kind of musical talent. I'd LOVE to be able to play the piano beautifully. I wish it just came easily to me so I could play anything I wanted to hear whenever I wanted! I'd also like to have vocal talent. Heck, I'd settle for even just a little. You know, like the person on American Idol that sounds OK, but "needs a little work." Yeah that'd be ok. See. I'm not asking for much!

4. Are you a news, politics or celebrity gossip junkie?
Hm. I'm not really a 'junkie' of any of them. I guess if you forced me to watch either NBC, CSPAN, or E I would watch E, just because it's a little more entertaining. Politics bore me, and all they really do is irritate me. There's really not much you can do about politics other than cast your vote when you have the chance. I try to stay away from it. It's all a big lie/conspiracy in my opinion. Sometimes I'll watch the news, or get on a CNN kick, but it's usually depressing. Celebrity gossip is not the most interesting thing out there, but it's light-hearted and interesting at times. Yep, gimme the celeb gossip!

5. What is your favorite "cocktail"? (Are you a beer person, a kiddie cocktail junkie, or perhaps your more the "Cosmo" kind?! Anything flies...doesn't hafta be alcoholic!)
Uh oh. We need a crash cart, STAT! We have a mama who is going to go into cardiac arrest!  Alright here it is Mama. Confession time. Sometimes I drink alcohol! Ahhhh quick! Hurry! She's fading...we're losing a pulse.......(someone save my mama!)

Ok. Now that she is under control, let's be clear about ONE thing. I DO NOT drink beer. Ever! Blah blah blech! If I'm out for a special occasion, I like Long Island Iced Tea or whatever fru-fru drink that particular establishment offers (Applebee's Bahama Mama!). If we're in, I like TGIFriday's Pina Colada that you blend, or a White Russian. And if I'm wanting something bold and reliable, a Coke and rum.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

My tweeps ain't twits...

Sooooo if you haven't noticed via Facebook I'm tweeting now. Twitting? I twit? A grammar geek and Twitter don't really go together well...but I'm working on it!

After a Twitter Etiquette 101 crash course by my friend Chris, I was able to get going again (I had a slight experimental phase with Twitter two years was just a fling). I have to say. I. Love. IT!  Originally I was getting phone updates constantly, and I got irritated with it. Now that I have a firm grip on some of the lingo and have changed my notifications, I'm LOVING it :)

I've already had the privilege of communication with the one and only ChibiJeebs, who writes one of my favorite blogs :)  I'm keeping up with the hilarious comments from Joel McHale (do you watch "The Soup?" You must, you must!) and pondering the musings of Ashton Kutcher.

Do you tweet? Are you a twitterer? Do you have patience for an old dog learning new tricks? YOU should follow me :) I'll follow you back. I'm unit_a

*Disclaimer: Blog writer will not be held responsible for massive updates and random thoughts. Unit_A is not directly affiliated with this blog or its users (even though she really is...shh...).  

Ok I'm done. Before you report me to the sanity police and send over straight jackets....

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Powdered Paranoia

I stepped into the kitchen and saw them staring at me. You know that feeling when you're not looking at someone, but you can FEEL them looking at you? Yeah. It was like that. I could tell they were crowded around the little window, just watching my every move, willing me to turn around and open the door.

I brushed past them without a glance, but inside they were all I could think about. I put two pieces of whole-wheat bread in the toaster and I waited.

Still they sat, motionless, watching my every move. Tempting me. Begging me to fall. They tried looking friendly and docile, but I know inside they were laughing and plotting against me. They were hoping to trick me with their look of innocence, then laugh in my face when I fell for it.

Their nutrition information was cleverly hidden from my view.

Their soft, powdery surfaces were pressed against the clear plastic, taunting my tastebuds from afar.

My face remained stone-cold, I showed no emotion, yet inside my mouth begged me to open them.

"COME ON! JUST ONE! One won't hurt! You can work it off later! PLEASE!"

I resisted, but I'm not sure how much longer it will last.

Here's hoping Chloe consumes eighteen powdered doughnuts today, because I'm just not sure I have it in me to resist their forces another day.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Pandora's Music Box

I've talked a lot about how music moves me. I love music. It can alter my mood and heal my soul. It can take me back instantly to a place and time, to a feeling, to a person. It transcends space and time. With just a few notes from "Long December" I am suddenly sixteen (and skinny!), sitting in the driver's seat of my mom's Nova, at the 4-way stop with Lindsey, giggling and sipping Sonic chocolate Coke.

Paula Abdul's "Straight Up" sends me back to the bathroom at my mama's house. I'm standing in front of the sink, she's wrapping my hair in hot rollers. I can smell the limey steam coming from the set. I can feel my heart beat for little Isaac Gripka. I'm no more than twelve years old, if that.

"All My Life" once took me back to junior year prom, but after hearing it a thousand times on our Wyoming trip, and saying loudly, "Ohhhhh this reminds me of prom," so many times the other youth members could finish my sentence, it now reminds me of the church bus. Laying across the back seat with Jonna, trying to keep our sanity among the insane. Kevin's eyes in the rearview mirror, fuzzy gray carpet beneath our hands dangling off the seat.

There are hundreds thousands more songs that are associated with a distinct memory. Sometimes I think without music I'd have no memories.

Then there's "Seven Spanish Angels." (instert creepy/dramatic soap-opera music here)

If you'd ask me about the song, I'd just tell you I hate it. Why, you might ask? I don't know. All I know is how it makes me feel.

Now don't get me wrong. There are songs that make me sad ("Always on My Mind"), songs that make me cry ("Christmas Shoes"), songs that creep me out ("Riders on the Storm" anyone? Seriously creepy. And ICP). There are songs that evoke painful memories ("Who's that Man"). Then there's this song.

I can't even explain the feeling I have when I hear it. It makes me uneasy. It makes me feel anxious/sick to my stomach even. It makes me feel sad. I've come to the conclusion there is some repressed memory that is connected to this song, but I haven't found the memory. It's like my emotions know how to react, but my brain can't tell me why. I'm most confident it's an early childhood memory, because it vaguely reminds me of my grandma's old house, and I've hated it for as long as I can remember.

The human mind is an interesting thing. It's a Pandora's Box. Curiosity wants me to open it, but caution tells me not to. For now, I continue to avoid the song and wonder if one day I'll have the bravery to search the depths of my soul for the source of my emotion.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Operation WWL: The Wii and Mii

I decided I'd go crawling back to my Wii Fit today. I've been playing Just Dance 2 on a (somewhat) regular basis, and my Wii Fit is a great way to track calories burned and weight loss/gain.  Once I fired it up, though, I remembered why we got in a fight to begin with.

I've gained 7lbs. SEVEN since we got into it several months back. I realize I can rationalize most of it as "holiday" weight (I'm still carrying a little holiday weight....who said it??) But still. That puts me seven more pounds away from my goal, which was made from my last known weight.  GAH!

I've been eating better little by little, and I've VOWED to only weigh on Mondays so my daily progress won't be hindered. Here's hoping next Monday is better.

Last week I cut out ice cream/reality tv snacks for healthy cereals. This week my goal is to get a grip on potatoes. Actually I guess my goal is to release the grip potatoes have on me :) Wish me luck. I'm going to need it!

Powerful Words

I went to an auction this weekend with the Mister's mom, who is less like a mom and more like a cool older sister. Anyway, as we were wandering around she saw someone she knew. The person asked, "Is this your daughter?" She smiled, and said, "No, she is my soon-to-be daughter-in-law."  It was nothing more than the truth, but it mellllllted my heart.

Being engaged and planning a wedding feels real to me. I guess I didn't realize it felt real to anyone else, though. I mean, we haven't been engaged that long, and it would have been easy for her to say I was her son's girlfriend, but she didn't She said I was her soon-to-be daughter-in-law. She made me part of the family.

And I liked it.

Isn't it funny how just a few words spoken out loud to a stranger can make your day?

I love my soon-to-be family-in-law. Especially the "cool older sister" ;)

Friday, January 21, 2011

5QF, WWL, True Love and Sleep.

It's Friday! It's Friday with no school and lots of snow! YAY! I'm currently still snuggled in my bed trying to tap the keys quietly so not to wake the little sleepy head in the next room. She loves to sleep in as much as her mama does, but between a whining puppy and the Mister's alarm going off five times this morning, I couldn't return to slumberland.

Yesterday was a success as far as Operating WWL goes. I had GrapeNuts for breakfast, a salad for lunch (vegetarian salad with no naughty things), and a dry cereal snack. I DID eat a shitload good size portion of mashed potatoes, but I didn't have any ice cream or any other "white" carbs, so I justify the taters. Mmm they were good, too.  I also danced my tushi off on Just Dance 2. My entire BODY is revolting now. One false move and my muscles remind me that I might be too old, or too out of shape to shake it like that ;)

Anyway. You don't care about that! You're ready for 5QF aren't ya?

Heeeeeeere we go!

1. When you met your spouse, did you instantly know it was love?

Mmm. Not when I "met" him, no. The first time we spent time together, though, I knew there was somethin' there. And then the first time we really talked, I just knew. I knew we were going to be together forever. I told him I was gonna marry him one day...and here we are, planning a wedding. We had an instant connection and there was just no stopping our little hearts from beating for each other. <3 I love him :)

2. What is your favorite room in your house?
Our bedroom. It has my lovely, wonderful bed. It's where I sit to Sharpie. It's the only place in the house I get clear cell service (darn you, T-Mobile!), thus the only place I can use the computer (unless the Mister is home). It's my little sanctuary and I love love love it!

3. Can you wiggle your ears?
Mmmm nope. But just like Mama, I can touch my tongue to my nose :)

4. What is your evening ritual?
I wash any dirty dishes at 4:30.
I start dinner at 4:45-5:00.
I fix everyone's plate and drink when the Mister gets home, usually between 5:30 and 5:45.
We eat dinner and are usually done by 6:15.
The Mister watches TV until 7, when one of my shows usually comes on ;)
7:00 Mama gets the TV. Yay. If none of my shows are on, we might play Wii. This is also the hour in which the Mister or I might take a shower if we're evening bathing. This is also the time of "Baby will you...." and "Mama can I have...." and "Please while you're up..." I usually burn out by 8:00 and declare myself "off" for the day :)
8:00 Chloe gets in the tub. I brief her on what has to be done (hair washed or no? bubbles or scrub?)
8:30 "MOOOOOOOM! I'm ready ta get out now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  "Just a minute!" (She never yells during a commercial. Never!) Her naked bum is dried, jammies put on, teeth brushed. She picks a book and gets her drink. We read the book, snuggle, say goodnight, hugs, kisses, etc.
9:00 The Mister and I watch tv until he gets sleepy, usually around 9:30. I get my grape juice and shut off the lights and tv. We go to bed and spend time together, usually sleeping by 10 or 10:30, depending on how chatty I am or how long he can listen without falling asleep on me ;)

5. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
This is the honest truth. If I'm left alone to wake completely on my own, I will sleep ten hours almost to the minute. It's true. Doesn't matter if I'm super tired or super wired, once I go to sleep I will sleep ten hours. It's safe to say I get at least nine hours of sleep every night, and any less makes me VERY grouchy. I can't help it. I need my sleep :) And I love it. It's tempting to go back to sleep now.....but I won't.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Operation WWL Day One Re-Cap

Day one of Operation Wedding Weight-Loss has (almost) come to a close. You wanna know how I did? Let me tell you.

I had a grilled chicken salad for lunch.
I had dried apples and raisins for an afternoon snack.
I had a full portion of spaghetti for dinner. With garlic bread.
I'm having Special K red berries for a snack during Idol.
I did three songs on Just Dance 2. I have no rhythm. FYI.

It doesn't sound like I did all that well, but wait! There's more!

My salad was romaine, chicken breast, and lite Italian dressing ONLY. Nothing naughty.
I had the fruit rather than my normal afternoon cookie binge.
Although I had a full dinner portion, I only had ONE piece of WHOLE WHEAT garlic bread rather than my normal two pieces of white.
And the cereal in place of my monster ice cream cone. Even if it DOES have whole milk on it.

I decided I'm going to try to make better food decisions throughout the day and just watch my portions at dinner. It's hard to give up dinner. It's always the highlight of my day.

My Wii Fit and I had a pretty big fight a while back. We both said somethings we shouldn't have said. I need to go crawling back and beg for forgiveness, but I just can't swallow my pride yet. So for now, I dance :)

Here's hoping tomorrow goes as well. If I don't burn myself out I will do ok. If I don't take away tooooo many things, I won't rebel.

I mean, let's face it. I'm a girl who loves to rebel with food. Skinny jeans too tight? I'll show those motherlickers. I'll eat FOUR scoops of ice cream! The Mister under my skin (WHAT? yes, it happens on occasion) I'll show him! Bahahahaha did you know I can eat a whole loaf of home-made bread in one sitting? So naturally, taking too much away from myself would be very counter-productive.

Baby steps.

So far so good.

Wish me luck.

OH! And you wanna know when the wedding date is?  And what we're thinking? And our story? It's allllllll on Wedding Tales. You know, the limited access blog site? If you want reading rights, send me your e-mail ok? Ok.  :) You know you wanna. Yes you do!

All things Wedding....

I decided to write all things wedding on a different blog. This will have more private things on it than I normally include, and I want to be sure I have the ability to screen who reads the details :)


If you're interested in following my wedding blog, I'd LOVE to share my journey with you! Please leave me the e-mail address you'll use to sign-in as a comment here, in a message here, or send me a message to Facebook. You can also reach me via e-mail at  You HAVE to be added to the e-mail list to read my entries, so be sure you let me know so I can add you!

I look forward to this blog. It will be fun to write my entries with wild abandon since I know who will be reading them :)  Let me know if you have problems! As soon as I get your address you'll get an e-mail invitation.

See you soon!

(Not-so) Secret Op

The Mister and I sat down last night and began discussing the wedding plans. My plan: sneak away somewhere pretty and get married just the three of us. His plan: wedding.

I agreed to a small wedding if we keep it simple, and informed him we needed to pick a date if we are going to plan a wedding. Spring sounded far away to him, apparently, but knowing what goes into planning even the smallest of weddings, I knew we had no time to waste.

So we set a date.

And I'm not going to tell you that date, cyber world. Quite frankly, there are some of you reading who just don't need to know. You know who you are.

But what I CAN tell you is that I will be the Mister's Misses in no less than ten weeks, and no more than sixteen. That's exciting, and while it's a short amount of time, I think we can pull off a nice little wedding. However, I've come to the realization that I HAVE to at least firm up the body I have, and I gotta do it fast!

Any suggestions?  I did a modified Adkins diet once and lost weight pretty quickly. I know, I know, eat right and exercise. I'm trying. But I need a pretty good push to get started. The first step should probably be quitting the tv snacks at night (ice cream mainly), but it's going to be hard. I'm going to get cranky, and you're not going to like me very much.

I'm going to try to update on the (not so) Secret Operation often, mostly to keep myself accountable to myself. I'm also possibly going to make those posts available to a limited audience, so if you don't follow my blog with Google and you want to stay in the loop, you should do that.

Alright, I'm off for now. Wish me well, friends. Operation Wedding Weight-loss begins.........NOW.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

It Started with a Bunny...

I told you more than a year ago in "My Own Miracle" that I would one day enlighten you on my specific prayer technique. It all started with a bunny....or at least that's the first time I remember praying this way.

I was probably ten years old when my brother and I got bunnies for Easter. My bunny was named Thumper, and I think my brother named his something stupid like Furry (we also had Swimmy the fish...he was five it was probably cute to everyone else, but I thought it was dumb he he). Anyway, you know I'm a worrier, right? It's not new. I've always been this way.

As I would lie in my bed at night in the dark, all the worries would begin to flood my mind. What if something happened to my bunny? Growing up in church it was not unusual for me to give my worries over in prayer. I prayed quietly, "God, please keep my bunny safe tonight. Amen."  I lay staring at the ceiling for quite some time, then a thought occurred to me.

"What if my bunny dies? Technically he'd still be "safe," but he'd be dead."  This probably stemmed somewhat from the old "be careful what you wish for" in combination with my everyday anxiety.  So, I prayed again. "God, please keep my bunny safe AND alive tonight. Amen."  Again I lay staring at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come.

But wait.

What IF...just what if my bunny got out of his cage? Yeah, and what if he found a little bush or bunny hole and he LIKED it there? He'd still be alive, and he'd still be safe, but he'd be gone!  Oh dear.  "Dear God, please keep my bunny safe, alive, and in his cage. Amen."

Finally satisfied, I drifted off to sleep, and I prayed that same prayer every night (unless I forgot) before I went to bed. Eventually I became more secure and worried less about my bunny. He got out one night and never came back. I probably for got to say "...and in his cage" the night before :)

I still do this today. I know that God knows the desires of my heart, and that he's not a mean guy up there looking for a loop-hole to say "AH ha! Gotcha!" but nontheless, I am very specific when I pray. I make it known what my desire is, and am very attentive to detail. Maybe it's controlling, maybe it's crazy, but I think it's thorough.

God, please let me have many views on this page from people who have good intentions, and please don't let them think I'm crazy. Or weird. Or boring. Amen.


Friday, January 14, 2011

You Don't Know ME!

It's Five Question Friday! I've had a few people ask me about 5QF, so here's the deal. Every Friday I visit Mama M's blog, Five Crooked Halos. Nine times out of nine I forget to copy and paste her little sticker so people who aren't familiar with the blog can go visit. Sorry Mama ;) Anyway, she puts up five questions, and everyone who wants to join the fun answers the questions and links up at her blog! It's lots of fun, and there are lots of people who answer the questions, so more opportunities to connect.  That's the deal. And I LOVE it!

So, now that you know what's up. Here it is :)

P.S. did ya know it's FRIDAY????  I just love Fridays! I even "less than" "three" them :) I amp; hearts semicolon them! Ok ok I'm done I swear.

1. What movie could you watch over and over again and not get tired of?

Ooh you know I'm going to have more than one, right? Movies are like books for me, many times after I've seen them, even if I like them, I don't want to watch them again. There are a few, however, that I will watch endlessly. Some of those are: Juno, Hope Floats, My Best Friend's Wedding, Sweet Home Alabama, The Hangover, The Recruit, Twister, The Notebook, The Family Stone, and 27 Dresses. I know, mostly romantic comedies. I can't help it. I love them. And I love Dermot Mulroney. If you don't know that already, (yells in a tearful voice) YOU JUST DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL!  Ok. Drama over.

2. What's your biggest pet peeve right now?
Oooooh it is and always has been S#!% talkers. Not just your harmless gossiping granny, no. I'm talking about the hardcore ones. The ones who secretly read your blog and pick out anything they can find to make into a big deal, or say "OMG did you know..." to someone else. The ones who try to be your Facebook friend just to snoop. The ones who report every status update you write (OMG did you hear Andrea should be cleaning the kitchen but she's watching Julie and Julia instead?) to everyone they know. People who hear a rumor about you and spread it just because it "could" be true, and they want to be the first to say "I knew that!"  People who talk crap about you and say you have no life when they spend their life collecting obscure information on other people. People who think a 'good story' is more important than someone else's life and well-being. Grrr. I don't let them deter me, though. Nope. I just keep on writing, and would like them to know that anything I post on my blog is obviously not a secret, so gabbing it around town does nothing but make you look stupid. Just sayin'.  Whew! I feel better! Are you still reading? Still with me? What a loyal reader you must be! haven't found any good gossip yet and you just KNOW it's right around the corner, dontcha?

3. If you had to describe your best friend in five words or less, what would you say?
WHAT! If you even think you can limit me to a five word answer, you're crazy! First of all, let's establish the best friend. The Mister and I had this conversation a while back. He said, "Who would you say is your best friend right now?" knowing I have bffs of different degrees and times. I said, "Jamie. Who's yours?"  He delivered a gut punch with his answer "I was gonna say you, baby."  I then had to back-pedal and explain he was obviously my best friend, my lover, my soul-mate. He is the obvious given, so I was going to the next-in-line. But let's face it. As connected at the soul as we may be, and as much as he knows and loves me, there are some things just not fit for him. For example, my crampy uterus. Clothes shopping. Purse problems. Bras. Therefore, I declare my best friend Jamie. Because she's been there through most everything in my life, and we still talk every day. Because she cares about my crampy uterus and doesn't become irritated when I whine about anything and everything on a bad day.

Now. Five words.

1. FUN - We always have a blast, even if we do absolutely NOTHING.
2. Giving - She is that person who would drop everything to help someone she cares about. She loves to give gifts, give her time, and give love. She's that friend you can always count on hands-down for anything.
3. Loving - She is one of those people who LOVES the people she loves. For better or worse, even when they stomp on her, she loves hard. Her hugs are full of love and that makes them extra special!
4. Beautiful - She doesn't always see it herself, but she's beautiful. She's pretty on the outside, and on the inside, too!
5. Understanding - She's my person. The one I can tell the whole truth. I can tell her all my problems, even when they're my fault, and she understands. She knows I'm a brat sometimes, and she accepts it. She understands even when my brattiness is what gets me in trouble. And she never tries to parent me. She loves me for me and that's the best!

4. If you did not have to worry about money or go to school what would you do for a living?
I'd stay home. And I'd probably have more kids. Because if money isn't an issue, and I'm going to make a career out of staying home, there's no sense in sending my child off to school and not having more. But I do have to worry about money.

I'd also really like to study psychology a little more and possibly get a job in that area. I think I'd like doing family therapy or being a social worker for an adoption agency. Again, if money and school weren't factors. In real life I don't think I could handle going back to school.

5. What is your one "splurge" item, that you will always buy, no matter the cost?
As far as groceries go, I'm with Mama. Always buy Cottonelle. Always. I also buy Hiland milk no matter what, and Welch's 100% grape juice (another thing you HAVE to know about me or else you JUST DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL!)

My other thing is Silver jeans. But, I don't like to spend my own money on them. I'm kind of a snob, though, and usually I will go without new jeans if I can't have Silvers. Probably why I don't have many pairs of jeans these days ;)  I could lose about 25 lbs so I could fit into my BKE jeans again........ya right.

Speaking of jeans, I'm going to go get myself ready for FRIDAY and slip into my newest pair I bought (thanks to Darrell and Patty..Merry Christmas to me!). Have a super great Friday and a wonderful weekend!!!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Cabin Fever

It's setting in. The cabin fever, I mean. Sure everything seems fine, but if you just take a step inside my house, you'd see it. Here are some mental snapshots for you:

"Sweetie, did you just put on new pajamas today?" the Mister asked when he got home for supper. I began to chuckle.
"NO! Oh my gosh. I just put new pajamas OVER my pajamas," I said, lifting my gray pants to show the blue penguin pants beneath. "It's too cold for just one pair of pajamas."

"You don't know about it, but I do!" Chloe said to her Ken doll, almost in tears. "I can't even talk to you! I'm putting you away!" she said scornfully as she shoved him into his Barbie drawer.  She then sat down at her table and surveyed her room, then continued talking to the Barbies.

"Hello?," the Mister said as he answered the shop phone around four p.m.
"Hey," I said.
"Hellooooo," he answered, as if asking why I called.
"Whatcha doing?" I asked.
"Working?" was his reply.
"Hm. Ok."
"Did you need something?" he asked.
"Um, I don't know. I was going to make potatoes tonight. What time will you be home."
"A little after five," he replied in a tone that makes me think he still didn't know why I'd called.
"Ok I guess I can go start them, then," I said cheerfully, glad to have a 'project' to start.
"Ok well I need to get back to work," he hinted.
"Aw, ok. I miss you! I'll see you later ok?!"
"Ok baby. Bye."

My internal monologue: I haven't checked Facebook in fifteen minutes. Maybe there's something entertaining there....

Jamie's e-mail has had six new messages from me in two days.

I need to fix my hair this morning, but it's been so long since I did it, I'm not sure I remember how.

Steve: What do you think Blue wants to be that is a person with big shoes who makes this sound (Bum bum bum)?

Having extensive conversations with the dogs no longer seems peculiar.

Internal monologue: I really need to shower and get ready for the day. . . . Nah never mind. I'll just put on more pajamas.


Am I ever GLAD the roads are clearer today and I will be able to get out of this house!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Retro Blog!

Back before blogging was 'cool,' I still did it. Did you know that? Not all of it was good or interesting, but it's out there nontheless. So. I was reading through some old ones today and decided to re-post a blog I wrote about four years ago.  Enjoy :)  PS I did not edit this at all (as difficult as it was!) so don't judge me today for my grammar errors four years ago k?

"Until I'd Mothered..."

I remember this incident very vividly. I was going to Springfield one day about four years ago and I passed a car that had a baby strapped into the front seat. I told my mom how abominable that was. I balked at that mother, that horrible, abusive mother who would endanger her child's life by putting him in the front seat. My gosh, EVERYONE knows you are not supposed to do that! I looked down at her with my self-righteous eyes and I judged her parenting based on that one tiny second of her life.

And then I became a Mom. Before I was a mom I was sure I knew everything I needed to know to have a baby. It's so much like my profession in comparison. My previous beliefs about motherhood remind me so much of how I sat in my classes and decided what kind of teacher I would be. And then I got into the classroom and realized that every book I had read had done nothing but use up my time. None of it could have really prepared me for the task at hand. I didn't know who I was as a teacher until I taught. And I didn't know who I was as a mother until I mothered.

If I could ever find that woman I would tell her how sorry I am for judging her, for thinking I was better than her, and for looking at her like she was horrible. For I, just the other day, strapped my precious, screaming Chloe into the front seat. And I KNOW you non-Moms, and some of you Moms, are out there judging me just like I judged her. And that is fine. I guess my whole point is that I learned something about myself. I learned that mothering is not black and white.

Yes, I drove with my screaming child in the front seat. And you know what else? One time I buckled her car seat in and didn't realize until I got to the next destination that the buckles on HER were not done! And one time her socks didn't match, and another time I let her sleep on her tummy. I have at some time, whether I meant to or not, broken several of the SACRED mothering rules. And you know what? My baby looked at me tonight, smiled her biggest smile, and screamed and squealed in more delight than I have ever seen. And I realized that even though I'm not a perfect mom, I'm perfect to her, and that is all that matters. And that is all that mattered to that baby boy I saw in Springfield. And I MUST enjoy these few years of bliss before I become her arch-nemesiss in eleven years!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Expletive Cookies

I decided that since today is my birthday, and since I am the best *expletive* cookie baker this side of the Mississippi, I would whip up a batch of delicious chocolate chip cookies. I use the same EXACT recipe as Phoebe's grandma on know, "The One with Phoebe's Cookies" right? :)  But I'm tellin' ya, cookies are my gift. I can make them better than just about anyone. Ok, now that I'm done being humble...

I set out some butter to soften while I got lunch ready. I put the butter on the stove because the counter may or may not have still been cluttered with dirty dishes (I made myself a deal that I couldn't mix the cookies until the dishes were done). I then proceeded to fix Chloe a hot dog. In. the. oven.  Yeah.

I didn't think about it, and I might have possibly forgot to turn the oven when I returned an hour or so later to do the dishes and checked on my was liquid.


Back to square-one.

This time I put the butter on the (now clean) counter and waited impatiently for it to soften. Then I mixed it up. As I dumped the brown sugar in, I noticed I accidentally used dark brown instead of golden, which actually turned out to be an ok mistake that I may make again sometime. I got the dough all mixed, let Chloe have the spoon, and scooped out my uniform little cookie blobs.

The first batch came out perfect. Mmmmmm I can still smell them.

I put the second batch in the oven, set the timer, then took Jessie the cow-dog out to potty.

She sniffed.

She ran.

She circled.

She sniffed some more.

Suddenly I heard a banging at the living room window. I looked up to see Chloe. I smiled and waved at her, but my smile quickly faded as I noticed her flailing her arms.

"MOM! THE COOKIES!!!!" she yelled at me, eyes wide.

*expletive! expletive! expletive!*

I dragged poor Jessie in by the collar and ran for the oven.

Too late. The weren't black or anything, and I'm sure there's some teenage boy or starving Ethiopian who would find them delicious, but to me, to the girl with such cookie skills, they were useless. Dog food.

Defeated, I loaded my pan with the final dozen and popped them in.  As the timer beeped I reached in to pull them out, trying not to focus on my loss, but on the fact that I had twenty-four perfect cookies.


That was the sound of the skin burning off my thumb.


I usually enjoy sending out samples of my delicious cookies for others to compliment me on enjoy, but I guess the only sharing I'll be doing is with our four-legged friends, because there's no way I'm letting go of my perfect *expletive* cookies this time.


Well, the day has arrived. I am thirty. The world didn't end or anything. I'm not holed up in my bedroom. I'm even in a good mood. I think that I was so preoccupied with the idea of turning thirty and what it might do to me, I didn't even realize it wasn't really bothering me all that much. For some reason twenty six really kicked my butt. And now looking back, I think that was my meltdown year. I mean, don't we all have a meltdown year? I'm going to declare twenty six my meltdown year and go with the theory that I won't have anymore difficult birthdays!

So, in honor of becoming thirty, and in attempt to remind myself that thirty is OK, that I'm not OLD (yet), and that the best is yet to come, here are some things about thirty that I will embrace. I wanted to do thirty things, but wow that's a lot ;)

  • Twenties are associated with stupidity. I'm not stupid :)
  •  I'm done with my college years. No more papers :)
  • I like how it sounds when I say, "I'm thirty years old, he/she can't tell me what to do."
  • I'm the same age the friends were on Friends. They made thirty look way fun.
  • I can be friends with people younger than me and it's no longer "weird."
  • I've had nearly ten years to practice my cooking, and I'm actually pretty good at it!
  • I say, "I'm thirty," and people don't believe I'm that old.
  • I have accomplished all the goals I set for myself in my younger days. Now I get to achieve new ones!
  • I'm getting married to someone I absolutely know will love me for me and help me make a happy family for the rest of my life.
  • With technology and modern medicine, I can consider myself just half-way up the hill, not over it.
  • I know who I am and what I want. I'm no longer in the "figuring it out" stage.
  • I have great friends who love me no matter what!
  • I got gray hair in my twenties, so I can scratch that off the "things to dread about turning 30" list.
  • I'm past the toddler years with Chloe, but not to the teen years. It's a great stage. 
  • Oprah says fifty is the "new" thirty, so I'm actually only ten in Oprah years.

Friday, January 7, 2011

First Five Questions of 2011

It's Friday again! I'm a little apprehensive today, because this is the last Friday of my twenties. The last weekend of my twenties. Yes, in merely a few days I will turn (gulp) thirty. I know. Many a woman has survived the milestone and lived to tell about it. I'm just definitely NOT excited about it! I had somewhat of a minor meltdown when I turned twenty-six, my worst birthday to date, and I'm trying to keep the mindset that it can't be worse than twenty-six was. I have some small plans with my family and my LOVE this weekend, and hopefully I can stay distracted long enough to weather this storm they call thirty. Wish me luck.

Now, what you're really waiting for....five question Friday.

1. What is your current favorite book, and why?
I don't really have a "favorite" book. I read a book and I either like it or I don't, and I usually never read it again. I also don't read very often, so it's hard to come up with anything. I know. As a former English teacher and a person who holds a BS in English you were expecting more. Sorry to disappoint. I'd just rather write than read, so when I have free time I'm more likely writing than reading. Next question!

2. Do you go to the dentist regularly?
Goodness no. I used to when I was a kid, but not anymore. I HATE the dentist. I hate it. I love MY dentist, but I hate his profession! It's ridiculously expensive to go, and when I do go all the hygenist does is bitch about how it's CLEARLY been more than six months since I was last there. I want to tell her she CLEARLY didn't see my last bill or maybe she'd understand! If I have a toothache or a broken tooth (darn you, Milky Way!) I will go in, but otherwise I pretty much do my best keeping them clean and healthy.

3. What is your worst memory from High School?
Ugh. I have plenty of bad memories from high school, but it's kind of like a bad relationship. It's been over so long they don't really bother me anymore. If you're going to force me to drudge something up, though, lemme think.......

Well there was my first heartbreak. It was my first puppy love heart-break, though, and even though I still pined after Mister Chubster for a while afterward, in hindsight it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

Then there was my biggest heartbreak. Oh my Lord. I was usually the "breaker" in my little high school courtships, so when out of nowhere this boy who I thought hung the moon just dropped me like a bad habit, I couldn't handle it. Oh my goodness. Tears. Weight loss. Misery. Driving by his house with my bff. Calling him again and again (wouldn't I have LOVED to have Facebook then??!!) I thought there was no way I'd ever be able to go on. He was the sweetest of any boyfriend I'd had, and he made me feel pretty darn special. He was also the first one with his own vehicle, which happened to be a truck, so that just sweetened the deal. It took graduating and losing contact with him for years to really deeply get over him. I still think of him when I see Armageddon (or hear Don't Wanna Miss a Thing) or Hope Floats (or any of that soundtrack) and remember the short time that he was my world. If only I could've known how happy I'd be ten years down the road, it might have made it a lot easier :)

Finally there was this girl. Yeah. I won't mention her name, for fear she still lives and might be spying on me as we speak.....but it sounded kinda like MY name. And she HATED me. She was what we'd call "gothic" or "emo" now. You know, knee-high boots, purple and black hair, Kurt Cobain obsession. She had a gang. It was called Big Deloris (just kidding, I just love working that movie line into a conversation). But she did have a posse. One of her "posse" was actually a nice girl I had gone to school with for years. In PE one day during a soccer drill this particular girl said, "What, you think you're better than me?" (IN COMPLETE jest) I laughed and said, "OH yeah I do!" Well a third posse member over-heard this, reported it to "ah hem" and I found myself shoved up against a locker by my neck before English class. I ducked out of her hold and into Mrs. Argie's room, shaken. Mrs. Argie was oblivious. I went to the "bathroom" and stopped to tell my mom what happened. She took me straight to the principal who promised to "talk" to her (but never did). Yay. She moved away eventually and boy was I relieved. BLAH!

4. What do you hope to be remembered for in your life?
More than anything I just want the people close to me to remember me for who I was as a mommy and wife (soon!). I love being home with Chloe, and I just pray one day she looks back on her childhood and sincerely believes I did my best, that I was a great mom, and that I taught her things and handled situations in a way that was positive and uplifting to her. The footprint I leave on this Earth will be small, but I hope the footprint I leave on my family will be bigger than the Grand Canyon :)

5. Are you superstitious or do you have any superstitions?
I'm not a really superstitious person, but I keep them in mind. I try not to utter things like, "Could this day get any worse," or "I sure hope it doesn't rain today." I knock on wood. I try not to break mirrors, and sometimes I send chain e-mails just because I'm having one of those days in which I don't want to tempt anything. Cover all my bases, you know? ;) I still haven't told you about my THOROUGH prayers as a child and into adulthood. Soon my friends. Soon.

Have a happy Friday, and don't forget to say a little prayer for my sanity this weekend ;)

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

For the Birds...

You know what's bothering me today?

Dead birds.

And fish.

And the way the media expects us to believe their 'theories' on the issue.

I'll admit. They had me with the whole "storm/fireworks" theory. But isn't that kind of moot now? I mean, did an Arkansas storm contribute to dead birds over-seas? Doubtful. Coincidence? Maybe. Are the events completely unrelated? Hard to believe.

I don't have a CLUE what's going on, but I find it suspicious. I find it even MORE suspicious that the nosy little reporters aren't like "OMG we WILL get to the bottom of this!" Nope. They act like it's not a big deal. Like it's not STRANGE that birds fell from the sky in masses in THREE places over the world in a matter of days.  Oh and all those dead drum fish, those probably had an intra-species disease.

The birds weren't poisoned.
They weren't sick.
They had 'blunt force trauma' they say. HELLO? They FELL from the SKY. They're bound to be broken up. But why?

Signs of the times?
Government conspiracy?

I just don't know. No one seems to know. But if you were watching these events unfold on a movie, and the characters actually believed it was just an odd coincidence, wouldn't you be expecting something to come of it later in the movie? An "ah ha" moment?

What do you think? Am I being paranoid, or is everything just a little too still on this subject?