Saturday, February 19, 2011

Spanx Me!

When Chloe was about six months old and I was teaching (aka wearing clingy dress clothes five days a week), I invested in a good pair of Spanx. Please tell me you're familiar with Spanx.

I don't care how fat or skinny you are, EVERY woman needs a pair. For real.

ANYWAY. Fast forward about a year. I was on the Stress Diet against my will, of course, but on it nontheless. I lost fifteen pounds in a matter of weeks, and another ten came off over the following six months. Miserable, yet hot, I stuffed the Spanx away in a drawer, smugly telling my old "fat" self that I would never need them again.

Ah hem.

Fast forward two years to a ridiculously happy me. Heard the term fat 'n' happy? Yeah. It's me. I'm not saying I'm obese, but as far as the range of Andrea goes, discounting pregnancy weights, I'm on the "fatter" side of my own scale. Misery looks amazing on me, but I wouldn't trade my happiness for the world!

Today is wedding dress shopping day. As you may or may not know, I have successfully lost 4.3 lbs this month, and hope to lose twice that by the wedding. However, I'm still kinda squishy. Kinda lovable. Kinda smooshy. Mostly around my middle [Ohhhh how I bragged I only gained weight in my belly when I was preggo....and THAT'S where it all stayed. Nice..]. I look alright in clothes, but I was rather nervous about trying on form-fitting dresses, because, let's face it, most wedding dresses are clingy. And barring wearing my jeans and button up shirt for the hitchin', I didn't feel I could pull off a pretty dress.

Then I remembered Ye Olde Spanks. I dug them out of a drawer, THANKFUL that the "you-spent-thirty-bucks-on-those-things" angel on my shoulder won over the "you-won't-need-those-again-unless-you-become-a-fat-ass" devil when I was packing. Whew!

If you've not been in Spanx, lemme just tell ya, lookin' good ain't no easy task. Imagine putting on a pair of pantyhose four sizes too small...but really that's the right size. I wriggeld and squeezed, pulled and tugged, shifted and smooshed, and after nearly breaking a sweat (burning calories yeah!), I had them on.

And I. Looked. Good. Better.

They're not magic. They can't delete the fat, but they do a good job of firming it all up, squishing you into a tight little form, and keeping that baby belly from peeking over your pants.

I'm ready to shimmy into some slinky dresses now! Thank God and QVC for Spanx ;)

1 comment:

  1. I hope you had a lot of fun dress shopping! I never enjoyed that aspect of planning a wedding at all!