If you are alone, make sure you're not lonely....

The preparations started two weeks ago. Between our upcoming honeymoon and Memorial Day, there weren't many options for Chloe's birthday party. We decided to have it early this year, and send out invitations the last day of pre-school so she could invite some of her classmates.

She's hooked on Tangled right now, so I took her to Party City and let her get party supplies. She got invitations, goody bags, and all the pertinent supplies. We sent invitations to eleven kids, and we invited all her family to join us for a party in the park.

We baked a cake, and though my cake budget and creativity were minimal, this is what we came up with:

As the week passed on, we found out a few of her friends couldn't attend. Her granny (my dad's wife) had a work meeting and wouldn't be coming, but told Chloe Papa might come anyway. I've heard that phrase enough to know it wasn't going to happen, but Chloe still had hope.

The day of the party arrived, and though I was afraid there wouldn't be many kids, I was still hoping to see four or five that we hadn't heard from.

The temperature barely made it to sixty, and it was cloudy and windy, but we put up our hoods and toughed it out. We decorated the park and waited for the guests to arrive. My mom came, and brought my dad's mom (her ex-MIL) since my dad didn't come. Then my brother arrived, and finally Hubby's Mom and brother, and his dad. Chloe watched as each car approached, trying to see who was within. She was still saying, "But my Papa MIGHT come," and "I hope Dawson makes it."

By 3:15 we decided to go ahead and let her open presents and everything. If nothing else I hoped it would distract her from watching for guests.

She got all kinds of Rapunzel goodies, and was genuinely happy with all the nice gifts she got. Even the mayor stopped by to wish her happy birthday and bring her a gift (don't you LOVE small towns?).

She played. Her uncles pushed her on the swing, spun the merry-go-round, and played on the sea-saw with her. Her Nana swang back and forth beside her. She toted her new baby dolls around and passed out goody bags to all the family members, and everyone got in the spirit for her.

In the end, she had a good day. I was the one who had tears in my eyes as we drove home. Broken hearted because I know how she feels. Sad because the few good friends she has are far away. Hurt because some of her family didn't make her a priority. Defeated because I worry she has a long life of lonliness ahead of her. Guilty because maybe if I'd tried harder to befriend some of the parents they would've been more likely to come.

For now she is completely happy to have her family as her one and only. She calls me her bestest friend ever, and tells me she never wants to be away from me. She even suggested using duct tape to attach herself to me so "I never hafta be wiffout you!" For now that works for her, but one day it won't be enough, and I just hope that this lonely little kid-less party is the exception, not the rule of her social years to come.

I really wanted to do a look back for my 200th post (THIS IS IT!), but after the events of yesterday, I just didn't feel like it. Maybe 201 will be a little more upbeat...