Poor, Pitiful Me

You know what bugs me?

Martyrs. You know, the self-made kind.

I, of course, have a specific example or two in mind, but I'm not going to spew other people's idiocy all over the Internet. That wouldn't be nice, would it? Nope. I'm just going to write a general blog about it and let them feel their own guilt and shame :)

You know who I'm talking about, right? Those people. The ones who somehow find joy in making others feel sorry for them. The ones who think they're the ONLY ONE to ever go through something. They're your classic "one downers" as my bloggy friend Chibi would say. The ones who are constantly trying to tell you how much worse their ailment/situation/life is, as if it's a competition to see who is more pathetic.

ANYONE can pinpoint the negative things in their life and make a sob story out of it.

Want an example? Let me tell you my brief life story two different ways.  First: THEIR way:

Nothing ever goes my way. My parents got divorced when I was in elementary school and I never saw my dad. My mom had to work two jobs just to make ends meet, and even then I remember scraping up change from the couch cushions to buy bread. I had to borrow all kinds of money to put myself through school, and that ended up taking me five years. I got a job teaching, but when I moved back to my home school I was bullied until I finally gave up and left. My marriage failed, my mom got cancer, and now here I am, living on a farm, job-less, trying to raise a daughter on my own living in a house that isn't my home. I lost my home because I let my ex move back in on the agreement he would take over the payments. That bit me in the ass when he up-and-left. My life sucks.

How about MY version?

I grew up in a small-town with just my mom and brother. Times weren't always easy, but I had a mom who loved me more than anything, and did everything in her power to make sure we had the things we needed and a lot of the things we wanted. She always did things with us, and she always put us first. I had the opportunity to go to a private Christian college, which was really important to me. I loved the small school and felt like I got an awesome education. I became a teacher, and even though I had a couple of rough years, I learned so much and truly LOVED what I was doing. Although my marriage didn't work out, I was blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and I'm so lucky to have the opportunity to stay home with her now. My mom was diagnosed with cancer in 2008, and now, three years later, she is CANCER FREE and the best Nana a little girl could ask for!  I've had many financial struggles along the way, but we have a home and food on our table every day. We live out in the country with the guy of my dreams, who also comes with a loving family. We'll be married soon, and will begin our life as a real family with all the love three people could want.

Same story. Two perspectives. I could CHOOSE to maintain the first perspective, telling my sob story to anyone who would hear it, or I can choose to see the love and happiness life has given me and live a blessed life. I choose to make the best of what I have.

I'm not saying we should hide our troubles or bear our burdens alone. I vent to my family and friends, and even on Facebook about the low things in my life sometimes. Sometimes I take thirty minutes and cry, giving me time to just feel "sorry" for myself.

But there's a line. We all have or have had a parental issue of some kind. We've all lost someone we love. We've all (most likely) been affected by cancer or AIDS either directly or indirectly. We've all had something tragic happen in our family. We all had some kind of problem in our teen years. We've all had financial struggles.

But you make a choice every day. You either take the hand you've been dealt and make the best of it, or you dwell on the negative. But let's get one thing straight. If YOU choose to see your life as negative, don't expect me to feel sorry for you. If you have to try to convince me that your life is pitiful, then guess what? You're right.