Chloe Says the Darndest Things...

Chloe, if you don't know her in person, is quite the Chatty Cathy. On long drives sometimes we have to turn the radio up and tune her out just because she talks non-stop the entire time we are in the car. NON-STOP. This does, however, make for some interesting conversation.

For example, we were driving home from school the other day when she educated me on how scissors can cause suicidal thoughts. Those are my words, not hers. Here's her take:

Chloe: "Mom, didja know daycare kids shouldn't use scissors?"

Me: "Mmm, no, why not?"

Chloe: "Because day don't know how to cut berry good, and day might accidentally cut deir eyball out." She said emphatically, making hand gestures to match.

Me: "Ohh my goodness, that wouldn't be good,"

Chloe: "No, because if day cut deir eyeball out day would hafta get a fake eye, and if day didn't get a fake eye dat would be SO disgustin'! If dat happened to me and I couldn't get a fake eye I would probably just (clicks tongue and rolls eyes as if thinking about what to do) climb one of those electricity poles and just---shock myself dead."

Me: "Whoa! Why would you do that?"

Chloe: "Because, my eye would be so disgustin' and I wouldn't be able to see wif it" (Winking one eye shut looking like a super-cute Popeye.

Me: "Ya, but you'd be able to see out of your other eye..."

Chloe: "Would you show me where to go an' stuff so I wouldn't bump into things?"

Me: "Yes. If you accidentally cut your eye out using scissors improperly in daycare and couldn't get a fake eye I promise I would take care of you for the rest of my life and show you everywhere to go," I said, trying not to laugh.

Chloe: "Hmm. Ok, den. I guess I wouldn't hafta climb that electricity pole..."

And then we pulled in the driveway. And she wanted to know if she could have a bowl of cheeseballs when we got inside.  I don't know about you, but I found the "where do babies come from" talk to be much easier than the stuff she comes up with.