Friday, October 30, 2009

A, double U, K, double U, A, R, D.

All my life I've been the victim of the awkward situation. It can be anything, and I've even joked that I may change my name to Murphy because I fit his law to a T.

When I was younger (and skinnier) I often had the problem of boys thinking I liked them when I didn't. I am a quiet girl, and I try very hard not to be rude (no comments from some of you), and so I suppose that in my laid-back, easy-going way I must have given these boys the impression that I not only CARED what they had to say, but I also ENJOYED their presence. Most of them were wrong :) Then I was stuck in that weird place of wanting to be nice to them, but not "liking them like that," and eventually having to say so.

In middle school my "not on the list" curse began. It never failed, there was at least one class per year in which the teacher would say, "Is anyone in the room who was NOT on my list?" At which point I would slowly raise my hand. Inevitably she wouldn't see my hand, and would begin moving on, when someone bolder than I would shout, "Andrea! You didn't call Andrea's name!"

"Why didn't you say something?" the teacher would question. I'd shrug, embarrassed. The whole time I was thinking, "I raised my hand, stupid. Isn't that what you teach us? Raise your hand don't shout out? UGH!"

The curse continued all the way to college. I, most likely the least-outspoken person in the class, was always put in a situation where I had to speak out. I wasn't on the list. I was called on when I was daydreaming. I was in the wrong class, wrong room, wrong building.

Even in adulthood I am constantly a victim of "...and did we leave anyone out?" at beginning of the year introductions. A co-worker will push me forward or shout my name. WHY am I NEVER on the list???

That's only where it begins. I can't count the number of times I've noticed someone's one crazy gray hair shooting out of their head, or a blackhead on their lip (I know, I know), or their un-zipped pants. I try to look away the instant I notice, but before I can avert my eyes, they ALWAYS notice me looking.

I'm also not a huge fan of eye-contact, so when I'm trying to find a spot upon which to fix my gaze, they always ALWAYS think they have a booger. I can see the thought go right through their minds! I KNOW they go to the bathroom after our conversations to check! I want to say sometimes, "You don't have a booger. I just don't look people in the eye."

Is it just me who falls victim to the ongoing awkward situation? Do you all face them daily as I do, or is it just stamped in my genes somewhere? Maybe I attract awkwardness. I've always labeled myself as awkward. Maybe it's not the situation...maybe it's....ME?

No comments:

Post a Comment