Tuesday, October 13, 2009

My Own Miracle

I subscribe to a weekly inspirational e-mail, a.k.a. "Knee-Mail" from a special lady. This week she discussed miracles, big and small, and shared her own with her readers.

Her Knee-Mail reminded me of a time many years ago when I had one of those small, yet powerful experiences that could only be described as miraculous.

As you may have noticed by now, I am terrified of storms. I have overcome my fear a little since becoming a mom. After all, once you've squeezed a human from your body and nourished it yourself, been poked, stuck, cut, and sewn in every imaginable way, it's tough to be scared of something as simple as weather, although I still have my moments.

Many years ago when I was a teenager, I remember a terrible storm crashing outside my bedroom window. It was the middle of the night, and I was scared to death.

"Please don't let there be a tornado. Or strong winds. Or lightning," I prayed. Someday I'll tell you about my need to be extremely specific when I pray.

I remembered my preacher saying that God cared about everything we had to say, and that he could even move mountains if we believed it. I figured if He could move mountains, he could surely calm a storm.

"Please, God, calm the storm. I'm scared and I want to sleep." I prayed aloud. Within seconds the wind died down. The lightning ceased. A quiet rain fell on my window. While my heart pounded at the magnitude of what had just happened, I had a still, quiet peace inside. That was proof enough of God for me.

The real miracle, however, happened a few years later.

Again I found myself in my bed during a terrible storm. I the thunder woke me, and at this point I was in my late teens or early twenties, and was not about to jump in Mama's bed. I remembered that night when the storm was quieted for me, and I prayed for relief.

Minutes passed, and the storm raged on, worse than ever. Frustrated that my prayer was not being answered, I turned up my radio to drown it out. It was tuned to KCVO, and I heard a song from years and years ago. I thought it was odd they were playing such an old song, but when the chorus came on, I knew I'd experienced a miracle once again.

"Sometimes He calms the storm
With a whispered peace be still.
He can settle any sea,
But it doesn't mean He will.
Sometimes He holds us close,
And lets the wind and waves go wild.
Sometimes He calms the storm,
And other times He calms His child."

I realized then that I could attain peace without the storm stopping, and I did. My eyes grew heavy, my pulse slowed down, and I went to sleep.

I do the same thing with my daughter. I can't always control what happens around her, but I can give her peace and comfort. That's what God wants to do with me, and I don't always sit still and let Him.

These days, in the storms of my life, I find myself praying for the storms to cease. Thinking back on these small miracles in my life, I have realized maybe what He wants is for me to find peace from Him.

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