I had kind of a rough evening yesterday. I was restless going to sleep, and just couldn't put my mind at ease. To top it off, there was rain and some storming.
I hadn't been sleeping long when I woke to run to the bathroom. It was raining hard, and I figured the storms were imminent. I knew the pitter-patter of little feet would be in my future, so I decided I'd beat her to the punch.
I was already awake anyway, so I figured it would me much easier to get her up, take her potty, and get her situated in my bed now than it would be in an hour or so when I was dead asleep.
I crept into her room and whispered, "Chloe? Do you want to come in Mommy's bed?" She didn't open her eyes, but she whispered back, "Yes." I hoisted her over my shoulder and made her potty before we settled in. She has a notorious habit of peeing in MY bed and my bed only.
She was so sleepy she couldn't sit up. I put her on the toilet and squatted in front of her, letting her rest her head and body on my shoulder. Her arms were around my neck.
She did what she had to do, and I said, "Ok let's get your jammies up and go in my room." She squeezed her arms tighter around me, turned her head toward mine and whispered, "You're so nice, Mama. I love you."
I was her hero for letting her come to bed with me without her even asking. That made me "nice" in her eyes. All she wants is to be close to me, to have my attention, and to please me.
They say the love we have for our children is unimagninable, but I often wonder if she doesn't love me even more than I love her. She doesn't lose her patience with me. She doesn't mind if my elbow is in her back, as long as we're next to each other. She tells me I am skinny and beautiful. She thinks I'm funny even when I'm just being stupid.
She'll grow out of those unconditional love characteristics I know, but right now I cherish every moment that I feel THAT kind of love. No one else could ever love me the way she does. If only the world could see me through her eyes.