Monday, August 15, 2011

Our real-life COPS episode

It was nothing more than a typical Saturday night. Chloe had gone home with Nana for the night, so the Mister and I went out to get a small bite to eat and were out driving around listening to music and unwinding from the busy week.

We pulled up to the house and into the driveway, and immediately noticed an unfamiliar car sitting at the end of the drive. Not yet alarmed, we figured it was one of our friends, or a friend of my BIL. Or maybe a cow was out and a passer-by had stopped to let us know.

As we pulled in, though, we immediately knew it was a stranger. Out-of-state plates. Unfamiliar car, and the man within was no one we knew. He was slumped over in his seat, but clearly breathing.

Bush's Sixteen Stone album blared from the speakers. The car was running, lights were off, and this man was out cold.

"HEY! HEY MAN!" Mister yelled across me at him. He never flinched.

"HEY!" I hollered, thinking being two feet closer might help? Nothing. His shoulders heaved up and down and we decided he was likely drunk and passed out. Suddenly he moved. Itched his nose. I gasped, and quickly rolled up my window.

We called one of the deputies who lives nearby in hopes he could come check things out. The longer we sat there debating about what to do, the more vivid my imagination became. What if he was tweaked out on drugs and woke up crazed and confused? What if he was intoxicated and thought he was at home, and tried to come inside the house or something? What if he was a serial killer baiting us so he could chop us up into tiny pieces? Or maybe he was a car-bomber! Nevermind there's not another house for a mile.

I was relieved when I saw Mr. Officer finally pull up in his truck. He went to the stranger and tried to wake him to no avail. He shook him gently at first, then so violently his head flopped around like a rag doll's. Finally the man awakened.

He didn't get off on a very good foot with Mr. Officer.

He didn't have ID.

He gave a fake name.

He said he was headed to the lake, and when asked if he knew where he was, he got smart.

"Yeah, I know where I am!" he snapped.

"Where are you, then?" The officer questioned.

"I'm RIGHT here," he said smugly.

Backup arrived quickly. While they were running his plates he started fumbling around in the car for something. Mr. Officer drew his gun and as the perpetrator raised his hand, he revealed a lighter, which he used to light his cigarette.

In running his plates they found he had a warrant in Kansas. They quickly pulled him from the car, told him to put out his cig, and he puffed on it as many times as he could before finally flicking it away. He was cuffed and taken in. As far as we know he was put on a 24 hour hold.

Mr. Officer stayed until the tow truck arrived, and finally our little episode was over.

Never a dull moment, even out here in the quiet country.

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