"I set out on a narrow way many years ago hoping I would find true love along the broken road..."
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
A Walk to Remember: Wedding Tale 1
When we first started wedding plans I wasn't sure what my vision was. But I knew one thing: I wanted to have the song "You Got What I Need" at the wedding. My original plan? Have someone play it instrumental while the girls walked down the aisle ahead of me. Finally I asked our friend Wade to play the song. I wasn't sure he'd want to do it, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask.
He said he would do it, and by the time we talked again, I had decided I wanted vocals. But who? Who could sing? His sister could sing. My friend Brenna :) So I twisted her arm (didn't have to twist very hard) and she said she'd do it. So I envisioned Wade and Brenna being a part of the wedding in this way:
Vision accomplished! A bonus? Wade sang WITH her and they made one of my favorite songs a VERY special part of the wedding.
At rehearsal the night before only Wade was in attendance. I had him hang out so he could see when he was supposed to sing and we could decide where to put them, etc. We went through the whole thing a couple of times, and went our separate ways.
Driving home from rehearsal I began to feel nervous. I began thinking about the day ahead, and started to wonder if walking down the aisle alone was a good idea. It is what I wanted. I felt like an adult and I felt that walking with my dad who I rarely see just didn't fit our life, or our wedding. I started to panic, and even day-dreamed about making my brother, or even my new brother in law, walk me down at the last minute. They both had jobs, though, that I needed them for, and I figured I could suck it up and be brave.
When I arrived at home and opened my Facebook, though, that all changed. I had an e-mail from Wade's girlfriend, who I had been talking with about wedding things all week. She was kind enough to help out with some of the little details I couldn't do myself at the last minute. Expecting something of that nature, I was floored when I read the message.
I won't post the whole thing, but this was the part that made me tear up:
...Wade asked me to email you. Didn't want to sound intrusive or anything by any means, or somehow come across offensive...but Wade would like to know if you'd like him to walk you down the aisle...
I wasn't sure why, but suddenly I DID. I did want him to walk me down the aisle. It melllllllted my heart that he would even offer. Here I was worried about putting him out by asking him to play in the wedding, and he was offering to walk me down the aisle.
I called my Mister immediately and asked him if he thought it was weird (didn't want to spring it on him!). He didn't think so, but thought he'd ask his BM what he thought. His response? "Who gives a SHIT what anyone thinks? If that is what she wants, and you're fine with it, do it!" :) I let my brother in on the situation as well, so he wouldn't be offended. After all, we'd just practiced and no one knew about this major change yet! He understood, and knew I needed him to be back there to get Chloe in line, open the doors for me, fluff my dress, and get back to film. We were set.
I explained to Wade my reasons for having decided to go alone, then my little post-rehearsal freak-out, and told him I would LOVE for him to walk me down the aisle. He's a special guy, and even though I'm sure many people didn't "get it," it made sense to me.
Before the ceremony I heard he was trying to convince the preacher he was my dad, and he was explaining to my Mister how he felt during the rehearsal and how it bothered him to see me walk alone. He finally came to get me a few minutes before things started, and that's when I realized I DID need someone to be there, even though I hadn't known it.
You can't see it in these pictures, but I had a hold of his arm for dear life. I wasn't nervous about commiting my life to my Mister. I did that a long time ago. But the wedding and the people had me freaked out. I had a small episode before we went up, my heart pounding, and my mind SO thankful I had an arm there to hold onto. Someone who has been a little part of our lives separately AND together. Someone who gets us and accepts us. Someone so sweet to be worried about me walking alone. Someone who felt compelled to step into that special spot.
We were both nervous, him mostly about stepping on my dress, me about the whole ordeal, but he got me there in one piece. He made my day even more special. And now he'll forever be my "Dad" :)