Friday, April 27, 2012

Non-Asked-For Opinions (It's Shakespearean)

If there is one thing I detest, it's non-asked-for opinions. Non-asked-for is an adjective I coined all by mine self. Call me Shakespeare :)

My mom can probably attest to this better than anyone. She's been on the receiving end of my wrath after giving a non-asked-for opinion enough that she knows :)

When we went wedding dress shopping I told everyone BEFORE we even left that non-asked-for opinions were not welcome, and if I needed guideance I would ask. I wasn't trying to be rude. Just saving everyone from a tense situation. If I try on a dress and I like it, I don't want it ruined for me by someone else giving me an "ehh." If I think it might make my butt look big and I say, "do you guys think this makes my butt look big?" then I want an honest answer. And I was very upfront about my expectations. It made for a wonderful experience :)

However, I don't have this "No non-asked-for opinions, please" policy tattooed on my forehead, so the general public is unaware of my little pet peeve. And you know how the general public is. They have an opinion on EVERYTHING.

Everyone's an expert.

Somehow being pregnant brings this out in people even more. Not when THEY are pregnant so much as when they come in contact with someone who is. I've been dealing with it my entire pregnancy.

"How are you feeling?" someone would ask. Without boring them with the gory details of life, but being honest, I would say, "I've been pretty sick, but I'm doing alright otherwise."

To which I then opened myself up to a plethora of "advice." And by advice I mean sentences that start with "You really need to..." and "When I was pregnant..." (never mind it was likely 15 to 40 years ago...) Rarely a "I'm sorry to hear that..." or "Have you tried..." or "Does it help if you..." Not from the general public, anyway.

No one wanted to know what I'd done or what was or wasn't working. All they wanted to do was impose their own opinions on me. Try crackers. Eat small meals. Pickles. Lemonade.

I just wanted to scream, "OH REALLY????? I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!"

It's only been six years since my first pregnancy. I'm not new at this. I have a doctor. I have nurses. I was even seeing a nutritionist. I am NOT uneducated, though that's how I felt I was treated.

I finally just started saying I was fine. I had exhausted every old wives' tale and every suggestion and trick I knew. My doctor finally found a medicinal combination that worked for me and that's how I've coped the last three months and not killed anyone or lost any more weight.

And now that I'm nearing my due date, I'm getting them again. Everything from how I need to stop "wishing away my pregnancy" (I don't feel like I have done so at ALL, even though the end of it means no more daily nausea, no more six pills a day, no more gall bladder trouble [I hope], no more ligament pain, and sleeping on my stomach once again), to how to get the baby to come out. People constantly telling me I NEED to go walk. I know. I've heard that one, too. However, I'm perfectly content on the couch with my Oreos, just waiting :)

Patience is wearing thin, and I KNOW this is only the beginning. Babies bring on a lot of advice-giving as well. I guess I either need to work on thickening my skin, my come-backs, or my ability to lie (Oh she sleeps all night at 2 weeks old, never cries, and hasn't had a single diaper rash, I will say). Or maybe all three :)

No comments:

Post a Comment