Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Step 1: Admit you have hormones

I forgot how crazy raging pregnancy hormones can make a woman.

Some would argue that I'm borderline as it is, so throw this hormonal rampage in the mix, and you've got something scary on your hands!

Sometimes I *know* I'm being hormonal, and other times I feel I have completely just reasons for my rage/anger/uncontrollable crying/elation. Then a few days later I look back and laugh at how wrong I really was in believing it was anything BUT my hormones.

Let me walk you through my hormonal rampage day:

7:15am I'm puking. And probably crying, or seething, depending on which side of the bed I woke up on.

8:15am Breakfast time. Watch a little tv. The Pampers commercials have me bawling like a baby. So happily anticipating the arrival of my wee one.

9:00am Roll into work. Some old doucher man has a smart-ass comment to make about me being "late," (like he sets my schedule) or about something I should be doing.

9:01am Old doucher man gets his head snapped off, as does anyone else who crosses me between now and lunch.

12:00pm LUNCH time. I'm either happily eating, or puking from the smell of the boys' lunch. I feel better either way, and enjoy visiting with my hubby for a while. Happy happy mommy.

3:15pm Chloe gets off the bus. So happy to see her. Hugs and love.

4:00pm Chloe is bored and driving me nuts. A new doucher man comes in and teases her. Mama bear comes out. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

5:00pm Time to go home, YAY! A quick surge of energy as I gather our things and head home. I quickly do some dishes and start dinner. Happy mama.

6:00pm I'm exhausted. The day has more than caught up with me and all I want to do is lie down. But there are more dishes to do. Chloe is out of jeans, so I have to do laundry. The supper needs cleaned up. Chlo needs a bath. I need a bath. And I just want to sleep.

Instead I cry.

Or seeth. Depending on which side of the bed I woke up on today.

7:00pm Puking resumes. More tears.

8:00pm Chloe is getting out of the tub. I'm mustetring up the strength to get off the couch. Hubby has the nerve to mention something I FORGOT to clean/do. I seeth.

8:30 I'm tucking her in. Reading a book. Her soft little cheeks are so kissable. I'm suddenly sorry that I felt irritated earlier, that I am so tired, and that I didn't want to play Polly Pockets with her. It makes me feel even more guilty that she is so understanding and loving. I hide tears as I tuck her into bed and squeeze her tight. So much love.

9:00 I can finally go to bed. Relief washes over me. I want to visit with my hubby. Snuggle and love. But instead I mumble, "I love you," as my head hits the pillow and my eyes fall shut. And somehow he knows that means I'm sorry for my hormones. I wasn't really mad, and even though I don't feel like doing anything but sleeping, I still love him more than anything.

9:05 He closes his eyes and prays I wake up on the right side of the bed :)

1 comment:

  1. Oh my you are very busy these days! I am sorry you are spending more time than seems right puking/crying and seething! There also seems to be a lot of love and happy mama in there too! Sending happy thoughts your way!!