Facebook is a tough bitch to break up with, and that's a fact.
I guess I better back up and tell you what brought me here. I guess it all started a few weeks ago. There had been a lot going on locally: accidents, untimely deaths, arrests, and, on this particular day, a baby died tragically in a hot car right here in our area.
Stories like that truly break my heart, and when it happens locally to acquaintances, to a child whose face I've seen many times in the area, it's crushing. As a mother, it's just too much for me to handle emotionally. Unfortunately, so many people are so OBSESSED with being the first person to "break" the news on Facebook, that my feed was clogged with the gory details and opinions of so many people. I was bombarded all day with the news, and had a knot in my stomach so big it hurt.
I decided I'd had enough, so I began the process of deactivating my account.
Oh Facebook, such a crazy, deranged lover you are.
If you think you're going to break up with Facebook all clean and easy, think again!
You see, first you have to choose to deactivate and manage to find the right security menu to allow you to do so.
Enter your password.
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?!?!?! WE'RE SO GREAT TOGETHER!!!
Yes, love, I'm sure.
BUT WHY?!?!?!?! (No, really, Facebook wants an explanation for your deactivation).
I looked through the responses and a few of them actually applied to me.
*This is only temporary* or maybe *I spend too much time on Facebook*
I finally decided on a response, but before letting me deactivate, Facebook made some suggestions to me about how to solve my problem without deactivating!
PLEASE, BABY, WE CAN WORK THIS OUT. I'LL DO ANYTHING! I'LL SEND YOU FEWER NOTIFICATIONS. I'LL STOP CALLING YOUR PHONE! I'LL TURN YOUR LITTLE GREEN LIGHT OFF SO NO ONE CAN CHAT YOU! PLEASE!
It seemed like such a commitment to deactivate. FB warned me I'd lose contact with some VERY! IMPORTANT! PEOPLE! and asked how I'd feel if I didn't see their pictures anymore.
Ultimately, I compromised by logging out of the Facebook app on my phone. So if someone *needed* me very badly, they could still reach me. I could still peruse the site by top stories in the evenings, but not be constantly alerted and bombarded with drama.
But that wasn't enough for FACEBOOK. It started to stalk me. Sneaking me an e-mail or an unnecessary alert here or there. Creeping into conversations. Still tagging me. Getting my friends to use it, just so we could spend time together.
Finally, on Wednesday night, after I went to bed still talking about how irritated I was with something someone else had posted, and after thinking all day about something ELSE I had seen that BUGGED me so much, I decided to deactivate.
I didn't read any of the mumbo jumbo, just clicked through and turned it off.
If there's one thing I DESPISE, it's the "TAKING A BREAK FROM FB!" attention-getting status several hours before ACTUALLY taking said break, just to get one last attention high. So I didn't say anything.
It's been the most liberating two days. I had withdrawal at first. Looking blankly at my phone, wondering what to do, how to fill those empty seconds of a commercial break or how to occupy a 5 minute ride in the truck with hubs. What I have realized more than anything, is that instead of complaining about the drama other people were "forcing" me to read, I had the power all along to CHOOSE NOT TO SEE IT.
It's been a great 7 years together, but it's time for a change. Maybe FB and I just need a break. Maybe if we see what it's like without each other, we can appreciate each other with PROPER boundaries. Or maybe it's forever.
For now, I focus my social energy into my blog, and a few Instagram posts here and there. A snap chat to my hubby once in a while helps break up the day, and a few minutes watching the Today show instead of reading FB actually helps me be MORE informed in LESS time each morning.
There is NOTHING wrong with Facebook, the only problem was my addiction to it. So I mean it with all my heart when I say, I'm sorry Facebook. It's not you, it's me. I hope one day we can be friends, but right now I just need some space.