Adventures in Tooth Pulling

Yesterday was a big day for Miss Chloe. She started out having pain in her gum above one of her caps (the front one that sticks out like a sore thumb). I took her to the dentist, and by the time it was time for her appointment the sore had bubbled out and was clearly an abscess.

I was very worried after the trouble she had last time she went to the dentist.

The dentist suggested pulling the tooth (yay for losing the ugly cap!), and decided to do it then and there. She asked me to sign a consent for Nitrous, and I did. What an amazing gas it is :)

Chloe was relaxed, and she felt no pain throughout the entire process. She handled the whole thing like a champ, and when we left the dentist's office her first question was, "When are we gonna eat?"

Ahh a girl after my own heart :)

Since she was feeling great, and I was feeling great (for a freaking change!) we agreed we would eat at Olive Garden, where we always share fettuccine.

We made a stop at the mall and did some GREAT bargain shopping, getting her all geared up for Christmas festivities and winter snow (Mother Nature, if you DARE leave us with a snow-less winter I will hunt you down and kill you myself).

We sat down to lunch and let me tell you, there's nothing like the peach Bellini tea, fresh salad, and warm bread to make two girls happy :)

We ate and talked. She colored. Our food came, and we ate some more.

Afterwards, we made a trip to Barnes and Noble, where we spent a large amount of time perusing books. She in the children's corner, I in the pregnancy and parenting sections. We finally made our choices, and were both excited about what we got. I found a great "baby book" that is all from Chloe's point of view, and I got the pregnancy journal I've been wanting. She settled on Max and Ruby and Barbie, of course.

Finally we went to PFI and Bass Pro and did some browsing, then stopped at Andy's and headed home.

Pumpkin pie concrete. Soooo bad...but sooooooo goooooood!

I felt so good all day, and was so refreshed last night. I've come to the conclusion that I'm just *supposed* to be at home. And by "at home" I, of course, mean running around Springfield with my best girl eating carbs and shopping ;)

Six more months.

I can't wait!

 





1. Did you make any fun purchases this week?

It's probably not what you'd consider a typical "fun" purchase. I didn't buy new shoes or a cute purse. Didn't get any new electronic gadgets. I bought my daughter a dish-rag doll at Casey's (gas station/convenience store if you're unfamiliar).

I took her to meet her dad and she saw the hand-sewn doll hanging in the window. She fell in love with it. I had just given her the weekly allowance, which would pay for half. Burned out and tired of always being the one to fork over the cash (we had just spent my entire paycheck on school supplies and clothes the week before), I told her she could either save her allowance until next week and buy the doll herself, or see if her dad would kick in the other FIVE dollars for the doll.

When he arrived she ran out to his Jeep Liberty and begged him to come see it. He told her no, he just didn't have the money to pay for half the doll (then proceeded to drive her three hours away to visit his new girlfriend whom she's never met, but that's a story for another day). She didn't cry. But her face. She was heart-broken.

So what did I do? Instead of putting in five and paying for half the doll I went in after they left and bought her the stinking doll. It's not worth ten dollars. It's a dish rag with a stocking sewn on, but she loved it.

But when she came home and found the little rag doll lying on her pillow, her face was priceless. And because it was such an emotional journey for her, she's super attached to that silly little rag. And those moments are what being a mom is all about :)
2. If you could go to any musical concert, what would it be?

LIKE you don't know! Ok, ok if you're not my Facebook friend you might not.

My favorite musician of all-time is Jamey Johnson. Of all genres, all years, all bands, he is my one and only. I love everything about him. His voice. His songs. His troubled eyes. His demeanor. *swoon* And I have YET to see him live :( One day I will. One day. But until then, I just listen to his music and pretend he is here with me in spirit. We mow together. We go for walks together. We commiserate when I have a bad day. We go backroading (although the Mister often crowds him out). And although he's big and hairy now, beneath that ZZ Top beard is a burly, sexy man with piercing blue eyes that have a real story to tell.
He seriously sings my soul. If you want to listen to a smattering of his music, my short list includes "Place Out on the Ocean," "That's How I Don't Love You," "The Last Cowboy," "Give It Away," (a song he wrote for George Strait) and "In Color." And that's my super short list. I love all his music. All. But my favorite song ever ever ever is "High Cost of Living."

3. What is your least fav/ most fav house chore?
My least favorite is dishes. MAN I hate dishes! HATE HATE HATE! I miss my dishwasher SO much! Sometimes I refuse to cook JUST because I don't wanna do dishes.

But I LOVE to mow. It's that one thing I can do where NO ONE will bother me. The sun shines on my shoulders, I plug in my MP3, pour myself a refreshing beverage, and spend some time with myself (and Jamey!). It's truly the best.

4. Would you prefer new appliances or clothes?
If you would buy me a dishwasher (and figure out a way to install it in our kitchen..therein lies the problem), I would wear the same t-shirts and jeans for two whole years.
If we're just talking about a washer and a fridge, I'd rather have all new clothes.
5. Miracle Whip or Mayo?
EW and double EW. I have a texture issue and I do NOT eat anything creamy. This includes all salad dressing (clear-ish only) and condiments. No yogurt. No sour cream. No French onion dip. No, no, no. Chocolate pudding is the only real exception to that rule, and I could live without it. Bleh!

Appearance Isn't Everything

Now that we've lived together for almost two years, and I've been cooking for him that long, I find myself in the supper-rut. You know. I fix the same stuff all the time, and I get sick of fixing it. We have spaghetti, burgers, cube steaks, pork steaks, tacos and chicken. Then we turn around and do it again. Oh we might have a steak here and there, or a roast. I might make fettuccine instead of spaghetti, but for the most part we eat the same stuff all the time.

So I'm always looking for something different to fix that is easy and doesn't require any weird ingredients I don't have. I've added home-made meatballs to our menu, slow-cooker lasagna, and stroganoff (sp?).

Last night I knew we were having chicken. It was the only meat we hadn't had recently, so I laid out some chicken breasts. I had no idea what to fix, though. I could fry them, but that requires mashed potatoes, which we had the night before. I could grill them, but eating grilled chicken every day during my WWL stint pretty much burned me out on that, and hubby doesn't care one way or the other for it.

I got online and started searching recipes. I found a chicken and rice casserole that looked easy, and I had all the ingredients it called for. Score.

I threw it together quickly. I had to use cream of mushroom instead of cream of chicken, but no big deal. I threw in some boullion, the rice and the chicken and let it bake. It smelled pretty good, so I figured it would be a good addition.

Then I checked it. It was supposed to be "done," but when I pulled the foil off I saw a white, soupy mess. It literally looked like something the cat would hork up. About that time Hubby came through the front door.

"Babe," I said in a worried voice, "I did something bad..."

"What is it?" he asked in a tone that added "this time" without him actually saying it.

"I tried to make something I've never made before," I said, crunching up my face, "annnnnnd it doesn't look very good."

He peeped into the oven. "What IS it?"

"A chicken and rice dish," I admitted, though I could have passed it off as just about anything. I was ready to grab my purse and head to town to get a burger.

"Well, let's hope it tastes better than it looks," he said, and plopped in his chair, willing to give it a try.

I let it cook a while longer, then when the rice tasted done, I pulled it out and slopped it onto plates. I was certain Chloe wouldn't eat it. She's going through this 'I hate chicken' phase, and she doesn't want much to do with anything I cook. But, she has to try it, so I slopped her up a little plate, too.

I took a few bites and decided it DID taste better than it looked. It wasn't bad at all. We all worked on our plates, and I tried not to make eye-contact with anyone, afraid of the nasty faces that might be appearing.

"Mom, dis rice is really good. It tastes like chicken soup," Chloe told me. I was relieved. If nothing else I knew she'd eat the rice.

"Thanks, baby girl," I said with a smile.

"I fink I'll try da chicken," she said as she stabbed a bite. As she always does, she nibbled a little off the end. "Mmm. Not bad," she said, and shoved the whole piece in her mouth. "I don't usually like chicken, but dis kind is good. Will you make me dis every time we have chicken?" she asked. I smiled.

I cleaned up my plate and saw that hubby had done the same. I picked up his plate and headed for the kitchen.

"Will you put some more on my plate?" he asked nicely.

"Uh. You want MORE?" I asked, not sure if he was being sarcastic. He will almost always eat one plate of anything I fix, even if he doesn't like it, but it has to be pretty good for him to eat seconds.

"Yes, please. Is there more?"

"Yeah, there's more," I said, still leery. I slopped some more on his plate and put the last piece of chicken on top, and he finished it off.

There was a spoon-full of rice for the dogs when we were done. I had planned on giving them the whole pan and having to buy dinner, but I guess sometimes appearance ISN'T everything :)

A Recipe..what??

I realize this is the easiest recipe in the Universe, and you're probably like, "Uh duh, Andrea. Why don't you just teach us how to make Rice Krispie Treats while you're at it?" But there are living breathing ADULT humans who haven't made this. My own Mister had never ONCE had it, even as a kid. WHAT?!?! Anyway it's super yummy...and it's way better than any recipe you'll find for it online.

So, let's make Puppy Chow. Or Muddy Buddies. Or whatever you want to call it. I call it buttery chocolatey peanutbuttery goodness.

What you'll need:
A couple sticks of butter (or margarine if you INSIST)
Half a bag of chocolate chips (semi-sweet really are best for this but whatev floats your boat)
A CUP of smooooooth peanut butter
A 12 oz box of Crispix (the BEST cereal choice for this in my opinion), or corn Chex, or rice Chex, or Best Choice corn/rice Crispys. You get the idea.

MELT the chocolate chips, butter, and peanutbutter in a big ol' pan on about medium heat.
Don't microwave it. Seriously. Just don't.

When it's all melted down and gooey, it's ready.

I like to use a big bowl for the next part, but if you wanna skip that and just dump the cereal straight into the pan, you can. I won't judge you.

BUT, I put a little cereal, then a little goo, then a little cereal, then a little goo...you know, get every nook and cranny.

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT YOU LEAVE ENOUGH CEREAL FOR TWO BREAKFAST BOWLS IN THE BOX. Why? Well that way they aren't hogging up chocolatey goodness that could be caked onto some other pieces. Really. Leave some out. You'll be glad.

Then when you get all that coated, you start sugaring. Again, you could just dump the gooey cereal and the bag o' sugar in a big ol' shakin' bowl and go for it, but I like to layer it.

Either way, use the WHOLE bag of sugar, and shake 'til your arms feel the burn. Then give it a couple more shakes for good measure.

Chill 'til it's all cold and set-up, then try to keep your family from eating it all before dinner.

Or do what I do: put it in several storage bags and hide it in the fridge behind stuff like lettuce and eggs. They  might find it eventually, but it'll buy you a day or two.

Most important? Enjoy :) Oh and don't try to make it all fat-free or anything stupid like that. It's all or nothin' folks.

I wish Big Brother would bring back PB&J...

1. Crunchy or smooth peanut butter?
You know I don't have a simple answer, don't you?

I like crunchy peanut butter but only with grape jelly and on honey wheat bread. I especially used to love to eat it while watching Big Brother back when they did PB&J rather than slop. I miss those days....

Anyway, if I have white bread, it has to be smooth peanut butter with strawberry or blackberry jelly.

And I always cook with creamy (cookies, candies, etc.)


2. What is your favorite color rose?
I love roses in every color, and I'm always intrigued by the unique colors like orange and purple, but if I have to pick one over-all, I like the traditional deep red rose. It's so romantic looking and beautiful in kind of a dark, brooding way (if a rose could BE brooding...). I'm not really one to be wooed with flowers, but the cliche red rose is still probably the most appealing to my eye.

3. Do you remove your shoes when you walk into your home?
Yep. Especially since we have hard-wood and I can SEE the dirt they leave behind. That, and the fact that I am the one who is going to have to sweep it up if I don't. Once in a while I will keep them on if I am just running in to get something, but for the most part I kick them off at the door. I'm not a shoe off snob to others, though. I don't demand that shoes be removed. Just don't track mud or cow poop in and I'll happily sweep behind you when you leave ;)

4. What is your favorite season?
Over-all I would say it's fall. I love sweatshirts and jeans, warm days and crisp nights. I love how the air smells, how the trees look, and how the breeze feels. The nights seem so clear and beautiful. It's the time of year to start simmering soups and chili on the stove, baking bread, and lighting cinnamon candles. I get in the mood for the approaching holidays, and love every part of fall!

Summer comes in a very close second, and if it weren't for the sweltering Mid-west heat and humidity in August, it would probably win. I love being outside, having the sun brown my shoulders, splashing in the lake or swimming in the pool. Grilling and long sunny days. Warm starry nights. Fishing and MOWING :) Sweet tea, strawberries, and watermelon...and corn on the cob!

5. Approximately how many hours a day do you spend blogging?
I don't really "blog" every day. If I am posting, it takes me about thirty minutes start-to-finish (which includes linking to Facebook). If there are some interesting looking posts up, I read those, too. Any typical day I blog could consist of up to three hours total, but it's not a daily thing. So if I averaged my blogging hours I would say probably an hour a day total.

Crappy Happy Monday!

Expectations are the Debbil!

I'm pretty guilty of having high expectations. For everything. Being a stay-at-home mama now, I get my excitement from the little things. I look forward to things for weeks days in advance, and I think about them often, hoping they will go just so.

Know what that's a good recipe for? Disappointment.

Take this weekend for example. My Mister Hubby reaped the benefits of being gone every morning this week when he shot a big fat turkey. He and "Uncle Dave" decided that if Dave would fillet it (do you fillet a turkey?), "we" (I figued this was code for "my wife") would cook it and have him over for dinner.

Saturday came and I was kind of looking forward to our little dinner party. I had visions of my kitchen being clean, frying up the golden pieces of bird, making a huge pan of fried potatoes and a warm batch of cornbread. I figued the boys would sit in here and racount the story of the kill while I fixed up a nice meal, started their plates, then called them in to finish up thier "fixins."

Cue the ol' "Womp womp waaaahhhhhhh" music here.

Rather, Dave showed up a little early. I was frantically finishing up dishes, and the bird wasn't even completely defrosted yet.

They assured me they "knew" what they were doing, and would cook it "their way."

And they didn't need ANYTHING but turkey.

So I sat on the couch and watched Toy Story 3 with Chloe.

When the living room became so smoky I could no longer tell if I had a cataract or if there was a sudden indoor fog, I decided to check things out.

"TRY THIS!" Hubby said, shoving a piece of meat in my face.

Rubbery comes to mind. Chewy. Needs gravy, or milk, or water....dry.

"Mm. Not bad," I said. "Little dry, though," I added, making my way to the stove.

There I saw the tarry goop that was once clean oil, and the smoke rising from the pan.

"You've got this a little hot," I said, trying not to take over, but kinda failing as I took the tongs from his hand and turned the burner down. "And it'll be less dry if you put a lid on it at first," I added, reaching for the lid. They stepped back. I finished the batch, though I'm not sure ANYONE would eat it if they saw the condition of the pan in which it was cooked. I've scraped day-old leftovers out of a pan that looked better than that oil.

They stood at the counter eating the pieces and talking boy language.

I went to McDonald's as soon as Dave left. And my hopes of a quaint little dinner party were left clamboring through the hot grease and turkey smoke in the house. I think they're still lingering between the dish towels and among the dirty socks, but I can't be sure.

Separation Anxiety slash Fun

It started out as kind of a bum weekend. My Mister was leaving me Thursday night, and would be back sometime Sunday. Being the woman baby I am, I was very forlorn and pouty in the hours days before his departure. I knew I had some plans to keep me busy, but we've spent so little time apart since we became attached at the hip two summers ago, it's just hard to imagine being without him.

I might have also been just a little jealous that he was headed for warmer weather with the guys rather than with me. Never mind the fact they were hog hunting and fishing. I said I was jealous, I didn't say I was rational!

The first night was the worst. I was like a two year-old whose mommy had left. I cried. I felt separation anxiety. I wallowed. I let made Chloe sleep with me. I submersed myself in my spring cleaning and got everything spic and span, even Chloe's room, on Friday.

And then I kinda forgot my proverbial mommy was gone. And I started having fun!

Friday night Chloe and I had a nice visit and some greasy Casey's pizza with my mama. Oh did I mention those slimy little mushrooms I love? Mmmmmmm. I spent the early evening there, then headed home. Alone. At first it was a little scary. The house seemed darker and much quieter than it normally does, but I was bound to overcome it. I fired up the laptop, kept my phone close, and went to work.

I ended up writing a blog post, 3,600 words on my novel, and a lot of Facebook comments/chats ;) I stayed up late, enveloped in my characters and story-line, and finally lost the battle with sleep somewhere around 3am. It was like being a (gasp) teenager again!

Saturday my bff and MOH came to babysit entertain me. We went to lunch, where we indulged ourselves with hand-breaded fried mushrooms (seeing a pattern here?), and the special: beef stew and homemade rolls (you locals know right where we went, don'tcha?). We then cruised around the area, and I showed her the church, the reception site, our home, and my future MIL's area. We came home and chatted a while, then decided we'd go to Springfield for the evening.

We were going to wait until later in the evening to go, but I got a text from the cousin-from-heaven saying flowers were 50% that day only, so we headed on down to buy wedding flowers. If you've kept up with my wedding blog, you know I'm not much of a decorator, and I don't have a big budget, and I don't have a clue what I even want. So buying flowers for such an event was not an easy task!

We did it, though! Motivated mostly by our hunger, we got the flowers and headed to...drum roll please....HuHot! When we went in the door, they told us we would have an HOUR wait minimum. We decided to wait it out. We had nothing else to do, and we figured on Saturday night we wouldn't find anything much shorter. We made a quick trip to the ladies room, then decided to sit at the bar to kill time.

We were greeted by a young bartender (he looked all of twelve) who told us about their signature drink, that included (but was not limited to) Parrot Bay and Peach Schnapps. We were sold! We each ordered one, and he promptly carded us, apologetically. We both smiled and told him he just increased his tip! Then he asked if we'd like to dine at the bar!

"As in right now?" I asked.
"Yeah," he replied, putting the menus in front of us.
"You're our new favorite person!" we told him.

He guided us in the right direction, and made our drinks. We had an amazing dinner, delicious drinks, and even ordered the s'mores for dessert, which was an event! As we were finishing up, we saw the couple who had been in line in front of us sit down and order their drinks.

We left, satisfied stuffed, and headed home for a girls night in (after a girls night out?). My mister was home early Sunday morning, and all returned to normal. I had an amazing weekend, but I'm sure glad to have him back! Hope he likes HuHot....

I'm a Habitual Eater.

I went to the fridge around eleven yesterday morning and opened the crisper. Suddenly my pulse began to race and my breath was short. I was.....I was....OUT of romaine!  I got mad and frustrated and as whiny as a two year old not getting his way.

What? You were nearly in tears over not having a salad? Make a grilled cheese, you LOVE those! There are chips on the fridge, even baked ones so you won't feel guilty. There's turkey and ham, whole wheat bread and wraps...what's the matter?

The problem is that I am a habitual eater. We all have a tendency to get stuck on a certain cereal or cola, but I'm a hardcore habitual eater (We won't even discuss my food quirks like no water-dwelling creatures and nothing creamy, because that's another blog in itself).

There is something so comforting about eating habitually. I look forward to it every day/night. Some of my food habits? Every night since December 2000 I have NEEDED a tall glass of grape juice next to my bed. I do not exaggerate when I say many a tear has been shed when I didn't have any. Oh and it has to be Welch's 100% juice. I used to eat a grilled cheese and Doritos every day at 11:00 while I watched Ellen (now I'm on salad). At one time I couldn't watch American Idol without Oreos (that's still a tough one). I ate two bologna sandwiches every day for an entire summer in high school. Even when I'm not hungry, my "habits" have to be exercised.

So today after I dropped Chloe off at school I went in to town to get romaine from the store. I came home and had my big salad, and it was wonderful. I'm lucky this food habit is a good one...because they aren't always so healthy.

A Table Tale and Other Things...

I have a few things to update, and Apron Strings to write, so I'm going to squish it all together here :)

First of all, my Thirty Days of Thanks.

November 6th - Do you drive a car (or have you seen one) that has radio controls on the steering wheel? I realize that cars have come a long way since 2008, and there are even cooler features, but I am thankful for the little radio buttons on my steering wheel. A self-proclaimed "flicker," I am constantly looking for something different to listen to. Without taking my hand from the wheel I can change songs on my CD, scan stations, and adjust volume. When my passenger changes my radio, I can flick it back without ever even moving my thumb :)

November 7th - Ohhhh Ben (Franklin, that is). I'm so thankful that this very man (the same one I will curse in April) allowed me to sleep another hour this morning. I like the earlier daylight (I actually wake up earlier now), and while I don't dig the 5:30 darkness, I LOVE setting the clocks back and look forward to it every year.

November 8th - I'm thankful for my washer and dryer. Even though it's not the biggest, or the fastest, it saves me from toting the MONSTROUS pile of laundry down to the crick and scrubbing my clothes out by hand. As I stare at the ridiculous Vesuvius we call a laundry basket, and it's spewed clothes in a lava lake around it, I must be thankful for my washer and dryer. It's the only thing that keeps me from going completely insane looking at it :)


Now, for update number two. Remember how I have a problem? Well I have been working on that. I haven't done anything drastic or crazy, but I admitted my problem and am trying. The first step of my journey was phasing out the grilled cheese. I started this on October 13th by replacing my daily Doritos with a small salad. By the end of that week, I'd cut to half a sandwich and a slightly larger salad, and by October 16th I had switched solely to salad. I have now been grilled-cheese free for 24 days (counting today). I had a minor slip-up one late Friday night and had a sandwich then, but I hadn't had dinner so I didn't count it.  From what I can best calculate, with my real butter and all, each sandwich was about 264 calories, and 12 grams of fat, and that's without Doritos. I haven't seen a huge weight loss, though after day 10 I was down two pounds (I steer clear of my Wii Fit when I'm eating well, because if he tells me I gained, I go on a bread binge ;) So even if I'm not losing weight (yet), I am cutting some calories and fat, and I'm getting a good hearty veggie serving that I was missing before. Yay me.

Finally, Apron Strings :)

I don't have a "generalized" topic today, so I thought I'd entertain you with the tale of one of my tables. This isn't an outrageous table, and one day I will do a "Fly on the Wall" post with some of my favorite quotes, but for today, here is a table tale fresh in my memory.

It was a busy Sunday morning when my 5th table was seated.  It was an older man and woman, and there were four menus. I always like it when a couple of people are waiting on a couple more. I can greet them and know I have some extra time since their party hasn't arrived. I greeted the guests and asked what they'd like to drink.

"Two waters with lemon," the old lady barked. Did you know we are "judged" by how many waters we serve? It prints out on our "stats," so to speak, so waters annoy us a little. Just saying.  Anyway, then the gentleman chimed in.

"Actually, uh, one water with lemon, one without."  Being the "ass" I am, I assumed he was correcting the lady, and I wrote down W and W/L.  I took some food to another table, and took an order from another, then grabbed the two waters.  When I arrived at the table, another guest had arrived.  I placed the drinks, then asked that guest what she'd like.

"Water," was her reply. ".....with lemon." So I scurried away and brought back her drink. By that time the fourth guest had arrived. Apparently the husband of the barker. I set the water in front of guest number three.

Barker immediately barked, "We need one more of those. There are FOUR of us." I then realize that she had ordered two waters with lemon, and Gentleman wasn't correcting her. He was ordering IN ADDITION to her. As I processed that in my brain she said, "I TOLD you two waters with lemon." Cringing on the inside, I similed and returned the fourth water. They were looking at the menus, so I didn't bother them (SIDE NOTE: if you're ready, close your menu. I can usually tell when you're ready, but if you're reading the description of Fiesta Lime Chicken while you wait for me to come over, I might think you're still deciding and give you extra time).

Did I mention I had four other tables? Each of which had 4-7 guests? So in addition to these four grouches, I had 21 other people to please.

I finally made my way back to the grouch table. "Have you decided what you'd like to order?" I asked politely.

"Do you do senior discounts?" Barker barked.
"Yes, we do." I replied.
"Ten percent, right?" Barker.
"Yes." I answered.
"Ok, well we're ALL seniors so we all GET it," she demanded.
"Alright," I replied cheerfully (well, fake cheerful) "what can I get for you?"

Let's not make this any longer than we have to. They ordered their food. Half salads and burgers and such. One lady wanted the Oriental without (86 we say) rice noodles. I ordered it that way, I did. The new cook overlooked it, and while it only took a minute (LITERALLY) to fix, the lady said, not-so-quietly as I walked away, "She's not very good at this." Oooooh you got me lady. That hurt right to the core ;)

Barker demanded more dressing, they wanted water refills, and they wanted me once to stop and listen to their request for more water when I was passing by with three plates of hot food.

Evan discounted the ticket for me, and I split the check, as I was asked barked at to do.  I always drop the check, then come back in a few minutes so you have time to find your card, count your money, or whatever you need to do. I had no more than walked through the kitchen to get drinks for another table when Gentleman was standing in the aisle.

"I can take care of that for you, Sir, I'll be right there," I explained as I balanced two full drinks in one hand, one in the other.

"I want to pay for all of it," he said.

"Ok," I said as I walked away. I came right back and took his card. He had both detailed checks in his hand, added them in his head, then I returned the credit slips. He signed my copy, and I left him with the detailed check (which also showed the exact discount).

I was so glad for them to be done and gone I didn't even care if they stiffed me. I was expecting it. I went back to the kitchen and loaded up with hot plates for another table when Jessi came back.

"Hey, Andrea? There's a guy out here looking for you," she said. I thought maybe Bryan had come to eat. I wondered who had stopped to speak to me. As I emerged from the kitchen, Gentleman was approaching me. GREAT.

"Did you give us the senior discount?" he asked, hatefully.
"I sure did," I replied, not-so-cheerfully.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"Yes. It was on your checks..." I told him.

He walked back to the table and announced to Barker that I did, in fact, give them the discount. I don't think she believed him.

Note for the day: Be nice to your server unless she is a bitch first.  Oh, and don't turn grouchy when you get old.

Step 1: Admit You Have a Problem

Hi, my name is Andrea and I have a problem. With food. Actually I DON'T have a problem with food, and that's my real problem.

Ok, I'm not one of those wackos who eats inedible items or has food fettishes (is fettishes a word? and no offense, btw if you are, indeed, one of those 'wackos' ;)

Anyway. I love food. I love to eat. I look forward to dinner. Eating out is a hobby I indulge myself in, not something I do to nourish my body. I reward myself with food. I abuse it when I had a bad day (much like many adults would pour themselves a stiff drink). I use it for socialization (let's do lunch!) What's worse is I'm picky, and quite frankly the things I love are allllllll bad news.

For instance.

I love real butter. I love it on bread, on toast, in my (almost like clouds from heaven) mashed potatoes, in green beans, on muffins, in cookies, I love it here or there, I love it anywhere! I even fry fried potatoes in it. I KNOW! Stop judging me.

I love whole milk. To drink. In those potatoes I told you about. When I cook. For breakfast. In my cereal. I used to drink 2% but when Chloe started cow's milk and they recommended whole for her, I saw no use in buying two gallons, so I joined her in the all fatty chlostrum goodness (is it bad that doesn't gross me out??).

Chocolate is one of my best friends.

Whole wheat what????? I want white bread (if you know me AT ALL you already know my bread obsession) or sourdough, or something not brown. I like bread with every meal. I like crackers (in whole milk oh man I love that!), I like pasta (not the brown kind). I want toast for breakfast and grilled cheese for lunch (with real butter of course) and rolls with my dinner. Then I want crackers and milk while I watch my shows. I. Love. Carbs.

Sweet tea is my other best friend (don't tell chocolate). And I don't care what anyone says, Splenda DOES NOT taste like SUGAR! Holy nasty substitute, Batman! I'll drink unsweet tea when I'm out, but at home I want it sweet. With sugar. The kind from cane. White and grainy and FULL of calories. I also like Coke, though we've become more distant since I don't sit at a desk all day. And my milk.

Red meat. Bacon. Sausage. Bologna (yep I said it). I eat my fair share of chicken and the healthier parts of Senor Porky, but I'd rather have hamburger or steak any day.

All those things they tell us to modify so we can still have the things we love are things I hold onto with every fiber (ewww not that kind of fiber) of my being! Just getting me to switch to margarine would be a battle like no other. They say have spaghetti, but go whole wheat. NO! I'd rather just eat something else altogether. Use splenda? You already know how I feel about that. Why does everything YUMMY have to be so bad?

I look at my expanding waistline and realize I have to do something. It's CLEARLY my eating habits that keep me from being my slimmest self. But I think I'm going to need more than twelve steps to get in gear.  I did well today. I had grapes for breakfast, and juice. I had half a grilled cheese (the bad kind...oh and Chloe's crust) with a salad (lettuce and croutons and lite dressing only) rather than Doritos for lunch, and frozen grapes for a snack. Now I am dreaming of spaghetti, ready to eat my way through anything refined, and waiting for dinner time HOPING I can make a wise choice and call this day a success. And thinking if I have to eat one more motherlicking grape to keep myself out of the fridge I'm going to explode...

But then I have to get up tomorrow and do it again. And I don't want to. It's like making me go to the dentist two days in a row. This is more than willpower, friends. This is a severe disease, nay, love affair (ok that's a little far) that calls for drastic measures =/ Wish me luck.

P.S. if you're picturing me now as Fat Bastard from Austin Powers, please know that I am hungry. I am carb-deprived, and it's my crazed hunger talking, not "normal" me. Oh, and I am still in the "normal" range on my Wii Fit, so skinny me can still be saved =)